On teaching children to do laundry

Recently, my oldest child, Cephas, decided it was high time that he learned how to do laundry. I have to admit, I didn't argue or try to dissuade him in the least. He's 11 and absolutely capable of doing laundry from start to finish. I made sure that he knew how much soap to use and reminded him to double check the clothes before putting them in the washer to make sure he didn't get something mixed in to the load that didn't belong. He knows how to run the washer and how to switch laundry over and run the dryer. He also knows how to fold laundry. So, I let him loose and he did six loads. Mostly it was his and Koren's laundry and bedding that he did. Koren also helped him. To be extra helpful, they threw in some random pieces of everyone else's laundry. They sorted, washed, dried and folded. They had a huge amount of laundry in baskets on Cephas's bed. And then things got busy here.

It was a couple of days before I had gotten back in to their room to deal with the laundry (yes, I needed to "fix" a few things. I'm particular about folding and I don't ever put anything away inside out, small details that the boys overlook and they had also folded a number of items that normally are on hangers, which I figured they knew since they know where to go to get the items, but regardless...) and guess what I found?

The clothes weren't dried. Or at least not completely. Oy! So I have had the pleasure today of re-washing every single item. I let the boys know (gently - I don't want to deter them from wanting to do laundry) and they were so sad that they had created extra work instead of less work for me.

I have decided that from now on, I will do the laundry and each child will have opportunity to help me until I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are capable of doing the work. With Cephas, he just needs to be more observant about the dryness of clothes coming out of the dryer. Koren needs additional training in that area as well, but also needs to learn how much detergent to use, as well as which setting to use for both wash and dry. Oralee and Jeriah need to learn all of it yet, except for the sorting. They are pretty good at that already. And all of them need to learn how to fold clothes Mom's way and which items get put on hangers and which get folded and placed in drawers.

I think I am going to make a laundry cheat sheet for the kids and put it somewhere near the washer and dryer. That should make it easier for everyone (Hubby included).

Finishing up the laundry and putting it away is our plan for tomorrow, along with their regular chores. I will post tomorrow about our chore system that had been working beautifully for the last month and a half. I think that is probably the longest a chore system has worked for us (to the level of effectiveness that those one has). I'm excited to share it with you. It works really well with our ADHD child as well as our Asperger's child. Which in my opinion, makes it a winner!

Absent

I have been MIA, I know. You have summer and the craziness that goes with it to thank for that one! I feel as though we need a little bit of a catch up, wouldn't you agree?
Growing up, my best friend was a boy, Melvin. We have known each other since we were two, so nearly twenty-nine years now. His parents treated me just like I was their child and my parents did the same towards him. On May 5th, his dad retired after 28 years of service in the Army National Guard. He had been on at least three tours (that I can remember-two of those homecomings resulted in Melvin's younger siblings) and had earned the highest rank possible without being an enlisted officer - if I understand it all correctly. He was a CSM. He was and is my hero. If I could pick a father, he would be it. I can recall him being harsh and (extremely!) strict when it was needed and a shoulder to cry on when I needed that as well. I love that man and am proud to call him my pseudo-dad.
Earlier that week, Oralee turned six and we had a nice get together for her the day after pseudo-dad retired. Just a small family gathering plus Melvin and his daughter, Calla. It was fun and have Melvin and I a chance to catch up. We spent a good chunk of the day, sitting on the back deck, watching the kids play and talking. Interesting fact - it was also Hubby's birthday. He spent most of his time indoors, playing a video game with his dad. But a good time was had by all and that is the important part.
Koren's class had a field trip to the large zoo about an hour from where we live. He and hoods teacher had both asked if I would come along. I agreed to, of course, because I love that class. They are my favorite class! It was a blast! I walked 12 miles that day according to the pedometer app on my phone. Loved it. We each had our own group. I just had Koren and a buddy of his and we were able to branch off and just go explore the zoo at our own pace. Wonderfully magnificent time and a perfect way to spend a nice spring day. I'm so glad we didn't have to stay together as a group.
School let out early this year. Earlier than any year Hubby and I can recall. Our last day of school was May 24th. On May 23rd, Cephas's grade took a field trip to watch our minor league baseball team play their home opener. Guess who the parent volunteer was for that trip? Yup, twas me. It was a blast! The teacher, though, had taken some medicine that recommends staying out of sunlight. It was an 11 am game, in May, with unseasonably warm temperatures and a UV index of a 10 out of 10. So I got to play class monitor. The kids were bound and determined to do what they wanted to do and I was bound and determined that they were going to follow the rules. (I won that battle, just for the record. I was there to make sure the kids were safe and had a good time. I was not there to make friends. And the kids DID have a good time.) I also got the worst sunburn in recent history. But for the first time (probably EVER), I also got a tan.
Since school has let out, we have had a number of kids stay the night, have done some movie nights, we've gone to a number of baseball games, we have had swim lessons, I have babysat a myriad of children. BC is my regular, Friday-Sunday kiddo, but I have also had a 4 year old, Angel, three year old twins, Oliver and Olivia, and then Calla as well. Thankfully, not all at the same time.
Surprisingly enough, my house has never been cleaner. Well, not true, but with that many children plus random neighborhood children traipsing through at any given point, my house has stayed surprisingly tidy. We have developed a great routine and system for the kids and myself. I knew I was excited for summer and this is part of the reason. I love it when it all just flows so smoothly.
And we are only a little over a month in. We still have lots to do and see and explore.
Calla will be back in July to spend some days with us, BC is here every weekend, Angel will be here with us during the day Tuesday-Friday beginning mid-July.
We have more baseball games to attend, zoos to visit, we still have scouting each week. We are planning a Worlds of Fun/Oceans of Fun trip coming up in August. We also have a wedding to attend in August, as well as flower girl dress fittings for Oralee. (We have also been playing a lot with hairstyles for Oralee.) Jeriah has his early admittance to kindergarten testing coming up here soon.
And this fall, Cephas is finally going to play football for our city's midget football league, Koren and Oralee are going to play soccer and Jeriah is going to continue with swim lessons. He would have passed his class each of three last three sessions if he would just put his face in the water for three seconds. But he won't. It is an Asperger's thing, as well as a sensory disorder thing and he just won't do it. Thankfully, we have great instructors at our YMCA who are patient and willing to work with him. I think we might also do gymnastics for Koren, Oralee and Jeriah for this fall. I just want to make sure they aren't too overloaded. We'll see what the schedule looks like though.

Menu Plan Monday

It has been awhile since I have last done a "Menu Plan Monday" but since I wrote one up for this week (and for next week as well) I figured, I might as well share it, right? So here goes:

Monday:
D - Lasagna, green beans, peaches

Tuesday:
D - Burritos, rice, fruit salad

Wednesday: (Oralee's birthday dinner)
D - Grilled hamburgers, potato salad, fruit salad

Thursday:
D - Grilled chicken wraps, corn, pears

Friday: 
D - Pork Stir Fry

Saturday:
B - Cold cereal
L - Graduation celebration (lunch served)
D - Retirement celebration (dinner served)

Sunday:
B - Pancakes, eggs and sausage (Fast Sunday for me)
L - Soup and sandwiches (Fast Sunday for me)
D - Pork roast with potatoes, carrots, celery and onion, peaches

I am going to link this post up to Org Junkie's Menu Plan Monday this week. Head on over if you'd like and see what other people are planning for their menus.

Trust and Patience

 I had a bit of an epiphany the other day when I woke up. It was Hubby's last day off from work that he would have for about two weeks. I had gone to bed the previous night with a migraine and when I first woke up in the morning to get the kids up and off to school, I was not feeling so great. I still had the migraine and had some sinus issues as well (I think it was from allergies). So I asked Hubby to get the kids up and take them to school for me, which he did. I did have to call out to them that Koren didn't need to wear shorts or tennis shoes today because although he did have P.E. for that day, he would not be participating in it because of his eyes being dilated. Oralee had P.E. on the schedule as well and she DID need her tennis shoes, which I also had to make sure that Hubby knew. But for the most part, he got them all ready to go.


I came out to the living room to keep an eye on Jeriah while Hubby went to drop the other kids off at school and then Jeriah fell back asleep as well (I think he might be having allergy issues as well) and slept until 11:30 in the morning. And for a kid that does NOT nap, Hubby got extremely lucky. Because I also fell back asleep. I didn't wake up until noon though, when Hubby was putting Jeriah on the school bus.

I got up and realized that Hubby had spent his entire morning after the kids went to school, playing video games and just relaxing. Normally, this is something that would severely tick me off. But I really think that there is something happening within my whole thought process and perception thing. Maybe it has to do with the official decision of me being the one that is staying home now, maybe it has to do with me just trying to make a stronger effort to be a better housekeeper and wife, maybe it is a combination thereof. But my first reaction was not to be ticked off.

My reaction? Gratefulness. Yep, you read that right. I was grateful. Because although there were things that he could have very easily done, he didn't do them. He felt like he could take that morning and just relax and do something fun for him to do. (I'm guessing the fact that he let me sleep in helped a bit too, to be honest!) I took his actions to mean that he TRUSTED me to get it all done. He had faith that he could just take the morning for himself and enjoy it, because he knew that the work would get done. And that is what I took as a huge compliment.

Not too long ago, I got offended because I had told him that I would get around to doing something and then I got busy with the kids' activities and lessons and my work and volunteering and church activities and whatever else. And I didn't get around to doing whatever it was that Hubby had wanted me to do. So he did it himself. I was hurt. He didn't trust me to get it done. And I reacted in a hurt manner. I'm sure I told him that I was hurt that he didn't trust me to get it done. And he responded by saying that he had trusted that I would get it done and then had waited patiently for me to do it until he just did it for himself.

Patience. My husband has way more of it for me than I do for him (on a regular basis). When I want him to do something, I ask him. When he doesn't do it, I ask him again. When he still doesn't do it, I ask again. I have learned how to ask repeatedly without it sounding to him like, "Nag nag nag nag naaa-aaaggg" All I have to do is ask. Then when I have waited an appropriate length of time, I just say, "Honey, I don't know if maybe you got distracted or forgot, or if you were still planning to do it, but I was wondering if you were still planning to..." to which he will generally respond, "Oh, right! I'm sorry. I forgot. I will get that taken care of right away!" and sometimes he doesn't get it done right away and I will wait another appropriate length of time and say, "Honey, I don't want to bother you, but if you need me to do .... , I can do it. Just let me know," which usually is the point he will do whatever the task was. But it is all about timing and tone. He can tell in my tone if I am sincere in the way that I am asking or if I am sarcastic. We have been married for 11 years, he should definitely be able to pick up on that by now.

But there is very little that Hubby actually asks me to do for him. So when he asks me to do something specific, I try to make sure it gets put up towards the top of the priority list. On the other hand, it could be said that he doesn't have to ask for much because I already do most of what he would ask for. But you know what? To be honest, I don't think that is necessarily true. I mean, I do try to make sure that the home is a comfortable, relaxing, inviting place for him to come home to at the end of his workday and to not bombard him with my day or with requests when he walks through the door. But I think it is just that he trusts me more to just do "my job" here at home.

And before someone gets their panties in a bunch about the house being my job, let me assure you, I am happy with it. The home and the kids and my husband ARE my job. It is my job to focus on them and make sure that they are taken care of and loved and to make sure that they know that too. My husband's hard work allows me to be able to do this. So when he makes the odd request of me to do something, I will do it.

It's funny, as I was typing this, my husband came up to me and asked me to switch a couple of meals around on the menu because he wanted a particular meal this evening (I am writing this post ahead of the day it will be published) and also asked me to pick up some very specific items at the grocery store when I go shopping. And asked that I do something very specific in the house tomorrow (which I did let him know that it would not likely be able to be done tomorrow, but that the following day, I would have a chance to do it) and he will not ask about these things again. He just won't. He trusts that I will do these things and he has the patience to wait for me to get it done. I could learn a lesson or two from him on this matter.

(And darn it! I saved my blog as a bookmark on his phone. Now he gets to read all of this about himself! Just kidding. I love you honey!)

Tackle It Tuesday - Catch Up Edition

So today, I have a long list of things to get done, so that's how it's going to happen today. You get my list. I get to check it off.

• Dishes. (Two dishwasher loads done.)
• Clear off the kitchen counters. (Done.)
• Clear off the stove top. (Done.)
• Clean the kitchen sink. (Done.)
• Take trash out.
• Take recycling out.
• Sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

• Move the bunkboard out to the shed.
• Clear off the dining room table. (Done.)
• Clear off the dining room chairs. (Done.)
• Sweep and mop the dining room floor.
• Take trash out.
• Feed and water the dogs. (Done.)

• Clear off the sectional. (Done.)
• Tidy up the TV stand. (Done.)
• Tidy the toy shelf. (Done.)
• Tidy the entry. (Done.)
• Tidy my table. (Done.)
• Pick up the living room floor. (Done.)
• Take trash out.
• Vacuum the living room floor.

• Clear off the armoire. (Done.)
• Clear off Hubby's desk. (Done.)
• Pick up corner near Hubby's desk. (It's a catch-all area.) (Done.)
• Clear off cedar chest. (Done.)
• Straighten chair area in den. (Done.)
• Pick up floor in den. (Done.)
• Take trash out.
• Vacuum the den floor.

• Pick up the floor in the hallway. (Done.)
• Vacuum the hallway floor.

• Pick up the little kids' bedroom floor.
• Put away the little kids' clothes.
• Put away the little kids' toys.
• Put away the little kids' books.
• Take trash out.
• Vacuum the little kids' bedroom floor.

• Pick up the older boys' bedroom floor.
• Put away the older boys' clothes.
• Put away the older boys' toys.
• Put away the older boys' books.
• Take trash out.
• Vacuum the older boys' bedroom floor.

• Fold laundry and put away. (Running tally of loads for the day: 0)
• Wash and dry laundry. (Running tally of loads for the day: 0)
• Clean out the bathtub.
• Clean the bathtub.
• Clear off the vanity.
• Clean the vanity.
• Clean the mirrors.
• Clean the toilet.
• Sweep and mop floor.
• Take trash out.

That is the total lump sum of everything that I'd like to get done today. It won't all get done. But I like having a list to work off of. And there are many more tasks that I could include on there. But I'm not going to. This is just an idea of what I would like to get done today. No time like the present to get started! You can click on the banner image at the top of this post to head on over to 5 minutes for mom to see what other bloggers are tackling today as well.

Clean House Challenge - Week 17

Admittedly, it has been a fair amount of time since I have done a Clean Home Challenge week, but there is no time like the present to get it started. This week's challenge is to sort through and purge bed linens. However, I don't feel that we need to do that. So instead of purging bed linens, it is my goal this week to wash them, dry them and get them folded nice and neat so that they can be put away.

If I find, while doing this, that we have more than what we need or that there are some that are just worn or whatever and should be purged, then I will absolutely do so! No before pic because I lost my camera and right now, all of our sheets are folded and put away in the cedar chest (we have a practical storage issue in our home - no linen closet - so we use the storage we have, in our case, a cedar chest)

I will let you know next week what I have gotten rid of in the bed linens department if purging does happen.

In the meantime, head on over to Katie's blog to see the rest of the challenges. You can also click here to see the challenges I have participated in. Wow. I thought that I had done more than that, but I guess not. Oh well, there will be more. Lots more!

Menu Plan Monday

It has been awhile since I have last done a "Menu Plan Monday" but since I wrote one up for this week (and for next week as well) I figured, I might as well share it, right? So here goes:

Monday:
D - Spaghetti with meat sauce, green beans, garlic bread and pears

Tuesday:
D - Frozen pizza, peaches

Wednesday:
D - Beef enchiladas, rice, beans, corn

Thursday:
D - Blue and Gold Banquet for Cub Scouts

Friday: (No School)
B - Pancakes, eggs and sausage
L - Homemade mini pizzas
D - Grilled chicken and spinach canneloni

Saturday:
B - Pancakes, eggs and sausage
L - Macaroni and cheese with baked ham
D - Grilled hamburgers and baked fries

Sunday:
B - Pancakes, eggs and sausage
L - Sandwiches and fresh fruit
D - Beef roast with potatoes, carrots, celery and onion, peaches

I am going to link this post up to Org Junkie's Menu Plan Monday this week. Head on over if you'd like and see what other people are planning for their menus.