I don't really have anything to type about right now, but I can always come up with SOMETHING. Just because my brain works like that. It's 2:00 in the morning and I should be asleep. I'm exhausted to be honest, but I'm up waiting for Hubby's work pants to get done in the dryer so that I can take them out and lay them out with the rest of his clothes for the morning.
Normally, we would have had all of this done quite a while before this point in the night, but tonight, not so much. We are house-sitting for my inlaws. They are off backpacking in Colorado or Wyoming or somewhere. (Their initial plan was for Colorado, but they weren't sure if they would be able to hike any 14'ers there so they figured they might have to go to Wyoming instead.)
But anyhow, the kids and I had a busy day cleaning house and getting things nice and neat because I knew that we were going to be coming over here sometime this evening. I also knew that I had some errands to run that I didn't get done earlier in the week. I tell you, I like to group my errands together, but when the heat is the way it has been, I am good for an errand or two, as long as they are somewhat in the same area. I don't like to be outdoors any longer than I absolutely have to. It's just miserable. Plus, I have always had a hard time releasing heat from my body, so that makes it even worse.
When Hubby got home, I ran out to do our errands while he and the kids stayed home and did some things around the house. Cephas wanted to mow. He has been begging all week to be allowed to mow, so Hubby let him do it today. Hubby also took the seats out of our van and loaded up some laundry into the van. Now, when I say "some" laundry, what I really mean is like ten totes worth of laundry. I had been going through clothes and then something came up and then the clothes got moved to the floor instead of my bed and then they got stepped on and then they got left there, so on and so forth. Anyhow, he gathered a bunch of it up and brought it over. Now, I am rewashing everything again so that I can go through it all and make sure what I am going to do with it. I know that there is more there than what we need for our six family members, plus the babysitting kids (I always have a few extra items on hand for them - just in case something were to happen) but even still, it's a mountain.
Well, Hubby's work shirt went into the first load I washed and somehow, his work pants went into the third load. Sigh. One of these days I will get it together. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But maybe I'll get better at pretending that I have it all together. Nah. :)
Tomorrow, I am going to continue to work on the mountain of laundry that Hubby decided to bring over here and go through it all. I am also going to be going back to our house and have the kids work on some extra chores there. It was so easy to see some extra things that needed to be done when I ran back there this evening to grab hangers (yeah, we forgot to bring the hangers. I could fold everything but then that just creates more work yet again, and believe me when I say that I don't need to borrow extra work). The house was just so empty and quiet. It was weird. I did a few things while I was there but since it was already late, I didn't want to take too long to get back down here, so now I have a list in my head of things that I want to go home tomorrow during the day and work on with the kids.
Tomorrow night, I am picking up BabyCakes from his daycare center and bringing him back to the inlaw's house. He'll spend the weekend here with us. While we are here, I am just doing laundry, watering the yard/plants/garden/whatever (I do NOT have a green thumb whatsoever so I'm doing my best!) and just making the house look lived in. Saturday afternoon, I want to go home and work on some stuff there and maybe even leave the kids here with Hubby while I do that. It will give BabyCakes a chance to see his dad too by doing that.
Then on Sunday, it's off to church and then take BabyCakes back to his dad and then work on our house some, come back here, tidy up the inlaw's house and then head on home in the evening. Thankfully, Hubby has Sunday off each week, so I can plan on him to help out with this stuff. After that, Monday will be my slowest day of the week and Tuesday begins the million mile a minute roller coaster ride that will be my new normal for the next few weeks.
I am so excited to have Calla and Angel around. I just can't wait. I'd like to get my house all caught up and organized and spotlessly cleaned, but let's be honest here. That isn't going to happen. So I will be happy with the house being neat and appear to be clutter free until the time comes this fall when I can make the reality much closer to the vision in my head.
See? I told you that I could make words happen even though I "didn't really have anything to type about," like I said earlier. It's now about half an hour later and I only have another half an hour to waste before checking on Hubby's pants. Maybe I might try resting for that time.
Showing posts with label Babycakes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Babycakes. Show all posts
Friday, July 6, 2012
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Fireworks and Meltdowns
There are so many different things that the title of this post could possibly refer to, such as: the heat around here, the wildfires in surrounding states, the fireworks, whatever. But this isn't about any of that, although they may all make it further into this post before I'm done.
I'm talking about emotional meltdowns. When my kids really get going, I fully and completely expect to see a big ol' puddle of Cephas or Koren, Oralee or Jeriah just laying there on the ground. Thankfully, it is a figurative term and not a literal one because with the heat around here, they probably would have evaporated in an hour's time. (Heat - further mention - 1 for 3)
Our city allows fireworks to be sold and lit only on July 3rd and July 4th. There are nearby towns that allow fireworks sales prior to that (something like up to ten days in advance of the 4th?) but here in the city, you are out of luck til the 3rd. (Fireworks - further mention - 2 for 3)
Our city's big holiday hoopla actually happens on the 3rd as well. Multimillion dollar display, free activities for the day for families, it's a great event and a great idea. However, with the heat indexes being over 100 and the humidity making it dangerous to even be outside (your body cannot efficiently cool itself), we had made the decision not to attend this year.
We went last year. Hubby, myself, our four kids, Shea, her hubby and their four kids. It was an absolute BLAST! (pardon the pun) We had discussed doing it again this year, but due to the fact that Hubby was scheduled the 3rd and the 4th and that we would be having BabyCakes overnight on the 3rd and into the 4th (weekday daycare took a holiday), we weren't planning on going to it. Add to that the fact that with two children on the Spectrum, one of whom needs a VERY consistent schedule - at minimum a regular sleep schedule - and the other who has developed some sensory processing issues, and how that would affect them, we made our choice.
Cephas and Koren wanted to spend some time outdoors yesterday (3rd) watching neighbors do their fireworks. I was completely fine with that. I gave them some very specific instructions. Stay away from the fireworks and ABSOLUTELY no holding or lighting fireworks. They both disobeyed and got caught. They both were given one more chance and did well with it.
Our neighbors decided to go to the lake nearby to just watch the fireworks display. It happens maybe only a mile or a mile and a half from us (as the eagle flies) but there are a lot of trees and hills between here and there and we wouldn't be able to see the display from here. They asked if Cephas could join them. I reluctantly agreed. Our bedtime around here is 8:30 year round. It seems really early in the summer, but the kids NEED it. Granted, there are times when it gets pushed back to 9:00 or sometimes even 10:00, but not much later than that at all.
The fireworks display doesn't happen til 10:00pm. It's a 22 minute show. Then there is traffic. So on and so forth. Cephas got home just before 11:00. He wanted to stay outside and watch the neighbors do some more of their fireworks. The fireworks are actually supposed to end at 11pm, but I didn't know that. I found that out afterward. But I let him and Koren both go over and watch the neighbors. The little kids were asleep inside and Hubby was too.
I sat on the porch and watched the kids and waited for BabyCakes to get dropped off as well (they had also gone to the show and had to walk back home after to drive over here). BabyCakes got dropped off, I brought him inside and put him to bed. He was out instantly. He normally goes to bed around 8:30 as well. I called for the boys to come in just before midnight. They were asleep within ten minutes as I figured they would be.
Today, everyone was up at their normal times. My kids have never figured out the whole sleeping in thing. Well, except for Koren. He'd gladly sleep in til 9am, usually. But the rest of them are usually up pretty early. They did their chores (most willingly, might I add) and earned their game time. I lost track of time and they ended up with double the amount that they were supposed to have.
Then, this afternoon, the friends starting showing up at the door, all asking for the boys to come out and play, which we allowed them to do. After awhile, we had them come in to cool off, even though they said that they were "just fine". Sorry kiddos, it is my job as your mom to be the parent and as such, I need to make sure that you ARE just fine. With this heat, you may not be able to tell the difference.
Then, they started asking if they could watch this person or that person do fireworks tonight. I told them that we would see. I knew that they were already short on sleep and after playing outside, it REALLY showed. I suggested that they go lay down and rest for a bit. They vetoed that suggestion.
They started talking about how they wanted to just be able to light this type of firework or that type of firework and I told them again, "NO fireworks. You may watch them and that is IT"
Shortly after that, they went outside to play again and both of them broke the rule and were caught lighting fireworks. They were told that if they were going to be allowed to watch fireworks in the evening, it would be from our porch. They had broken the rules again and they were done. They were not allowed to play outside, they were not allowed to watch the fireworks unless it was from our porch, they were just DONE with outdoor activities for the day.
That is when Cephas melted. Koren is eight, almost nine and he sat there, listening and quickly and quietly took his consequence for it and moved on. Cephas melted. He cried, he complained, he whined, he nagged, he kept at it. We explained, we reasoned with him, we remained firm on the issue. No matter how much he tried and tried to get his own way about it, we didn't budge. I told him that if he kept it up, he'd end up with an 8pm bedtime and miss out on everything altogether.
So then the evening came and the boys were outside on the porch to watch other people light their fireworks. I had the little kids inside, watching different displays on T.V. I asked the boys if they wanted to come in and watch the displays as well. They didn't at first. But then Cephas decided to come indoors and melt all over the living room again. So that was the end of the outdoors for him. I gave him the option of going to his room and watching out his window or laying on the couch and watching on TV. He chose his room. Koren came in as well and went to lay down because he was tired.
Cephas then came out and melted again, saying that he couldn't see anything. All the good stuff was every direction but the one that his window faced. I told him he still had the option of watching the display on TV. Koren came out and asked if he, too, could watch the TV display. We agreed to it and they fell asleep watching the display on TV (around 9:15 or so).
I know that this is an issue that will be coming up soon with Cephas' therapist. We see a behavioral therapist every other week to work on various issues with Cephas. Well, technically, we see her for Jeriah as well, but this whole post is about Cephas. So anyhow, we will see her soon and I know this will come up. I know that she will back me on these issues. And that is reassuring to know.
I am feeling a bit stressed myself right now though, because although I know that the B.T. will back me on this and Hubby obviously does as well, my mother-in-law probably won't. She is constantly pressuring me to "give him some additional freedom" and to "make his bedtime just a little bit later than the others, maybe an hour or so" and various other things like that. And it angers me. I am the one that has to make these decisions, I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my decisions on how I raise my children. Yes, I agree that my 11 year old should have a later bedtime than my 4 year old. But you know what? He can't handle it. He melts the next day if loses more than half an hour of sleep. He doesn't sleep in. We have finally gotten to the point where he is willingly staying in his room quietly (and usually without waking his brother) until 8am. He has room darkening curtains. There really isn't much more that I can do, so his bedtime will remain 8:30. He will not be allowed to play with fireworks. He will need to stay in his room quietly until 8:00am for the remainder of summer. These are all things that I am not going to budge on.
Also, with regard to the firework issue, basically, my thought on it (in addition to these ones that I had mentioned the other day) is that allowing my children to light fireworks is giving them permission to play with fire, which I don't think is okay at ANY point in time. Also, if I were to ever allow them to do it, they would have to show me that they could be personally responsible. They need to be able to be responsible and accountable for their actions - and by that definition, Koren would probably be okay to light fireworks but he's only eight. No way is he going to be allowed to do that.
Cephas mentioned camping and the fact that he is allowed to start fires in that instance. I explained that fires during camping are a tool, not a toy. It is used for warmth, for food in addition to enjoyment. But the first two are the primary reasons for a fire during camping. He is also a Scout and they have the "Leave No Trace" policy that they practice. And the last point about it, campfires (done correctly) are CONTAINED.
Speaking of fires being contained, the fire that was raging in our state's national forest (which I didn't even know existed until recently) is now 100% contained. I'm so thankful! (Oh - and wildfires - mention - 3 for 3 - got 'em all in here!)
Apart from the meltdowns, I'd say it was a pleasant 4th of July. It was a quiet day, mostly spent with just our immediate family here at home. I got some personal and family planning done, finalized some details for the remainder of the month (or mostly finalized) and just relaxed as much as possible.
How was your fourth? Did you go to a professional display or stay home and do your own? What is your take on kids and fireworks?
I'm talking about emotional meltdowns. When my kids really get going, I fully and completely expect to see a big ol' puddle of Cephas or Koren, Oralee or Jeriah just laying there on the ground. Thankfully, it is a figurative term and not a literal one because with the heat around here, they probably would have evaporated in an hour's time. (Heat - further mention - 1 for 3)
Our city allows fireworks to be sold and lit only on July 3rd and July 4th. There are nearby towns that allow fireworks sales prior to that (something like up to ten days in advance of the 4th?) but here in the city, you are out of luck til the 3rd. (Fireworks - further mention - 2 for 3)
Our city's big holiday hoopla actually happens on the 3rd as well. Multimillion dollar display, free activities for the day for families, it's a great event and a great idea. However, with the heat indexes being over 100 and the humidity making it dangerous to even be outside (your body cannot efficiently cool itself), we had made the decision not to attend this year.
We went last year. Hubby, myself, our four kids, Shea, her hubby and their four kids. It was an absolute BLAST! (pardon the pun) We had discussed doing it again this year, but due to the fact that Hubby was scheduled the 3rd and the 4th and that we would be having BabyCakes overnight on the 3rd and into the 4th (weekday daycare took a holiday), we weren't planning on going to it. Add to that the fact that with two children on the Spectrum, one of whom needs a VERY consistent schedule - at minimum a regular sleep schedule - and the other who has developed some sensory processing issues, and how that would affect them, we made our choice.
Cephas and Koren wanted to spend some time outdoors yesterday (3rd) watching neighbors do their fireworks. I was completely fine with that. I gave them some very specific instructions. Stay away from the fireworks and ABSOLUTELY no holding or lighting fireworks. They both disobeyed and got caught. They both were given one more chance and did well with it.
Our neighbors decided to go to the lake nearby to just watch the fireworks display. It happens maybe only a mile or a mile and a half from us (as the eagle flies) but there are a lot of trees and hills between here and there and we wouldn't be able to see the display from here. They asked if Cephas could join them. I reluctantly agreed. Our bedtime around here is 8:30 year round. It seems really early in the summer, but the kids NEED it. Granted, there are times when it gets pushed back to 9:00 or sometimes even 10:00, but not much later than that at all.
The fireworks display doesn't happen til 10:00pm. It's a 22 minute show. Then there is traffic. So on and so forth. Cephas got home just before 11:00. He wanted to stay outside and watch the neighbors do some more of their fireworks. The fireworks are actually supposed to end at 11pm, but I didn't know that. I found that out afterward. But I let him and Koren both go over and watch the neighbors. The little kids were asleep inside and Hubby was too.
I sat on the porch and watched the kids and waited for BabyCakes to get dropped off as well (they had also gone to the show and had to walk back home after to drive over here). BabyCakes got dropped off, I brought him inside and put him to bed. He was out instantly. He normally goes to bed around 8:30 as well. I called for the boys to come in just before midnight. They were asleep within ten minutes as I figured they would be.
Today, everyone was up at their normal times. My kids have never figured out the whole sleeping in thing. Well, except for Koren. He'd gladly sleep in til 9am, usually. But the rest of them are usually up pretty early. They did their chores (most willingly, might I add) and earned their game time. I lost track of time and they ended up with double the amount that they were supposed to have.
Then, this afternoon, the friends starting showing up at the door, all asking for the boys to come out and play, which we allowed them to do. After awhile, we had them come in to cool off, even though they said that they were "just fine". Sorry kiddos, it is my job as your mom to be the parent and as such, I need to make sure that you ARE just fine. With this heat, you may not be able to tell the difference.
Then, they started asking if they could watch this person or that person do fireworks tonight. I told them that we would see. I knew that they were already short on sleep and after playing outside, it REALLY showed. I suggested that they go lay down and rest for a bit. They vetoed that suggestion.
They started talking about how they wanted to just be able to light this type of firework or that type of firework and I told them again, "NO fireworks. You may watch them and that is IT"
Shortly after that, they went outside to play again and both of them broke the rule and were caught lighting fireworks. They were told that if they were going to be allowed to watch fireworks in the evening, it would be from our porch. They had broken the rules again and they were done. They were not allowed to play outside, they were not allowed to watch the fireworks unless it was from our porch, they were just DONE with outdoor activities for the day.
That is when Cephas melted. Koren is eight, almost nine and he sat there, listening and quickly and quietly took his consequence for it and moved on. Cephas melted. He cried, he complained, he whined, he nagged, he kept at it. We explained, we reasoned with him, we remained firm on the issue. No matter how much he tried and tried to get his own way about it, we didn't budge. I told him that if he kept it up, he'd end up with an 8pm bedtime and miss out on everything altogether.
So then the evening came and the boys were outside on the porch to watch other people light their fireworks. I had the little kids inside, watching different displays on T.V. I asked the boys if they wanted to come in and watch the displays as well. They didn't at first. But then Cephas decided to come indoors and melt all over the living room again. So that was the end of the outdoors for him. I gave him the option of going to his room and watching out his window or laying on the couch and watching on TV. He chose his room. Koren came in as well and went to lay down because he was tired.
Cephas then came out and melted again, saying that he couldn't see anything. All the good stuff was every direction but the one that his window faced. I told him he still had the option of watching the display on TV. Koren came out and asked if he, too, could watch the TV display. We agreed to it and they fell asleep watching the display on TV (around 9:15 or so).
I know that this is an issue that will be coming up soon with Cephas' therapist. We see a behavioral therapist every other week to work on various issues with Cephas. Well, technically, we see her for Jeriah as well, but this whole post is about Cephas. So anyhow, we will see her soon and I know this will come up. I know that she will back me on these issues. And that is reassuring to know.
I am feeling a bit stressed myself right now though, because although I know that the B.T. will back me on this and Hubby obviously does as well, my mother-in-law probably won't. She is constantly pressuring me to "give him some additional freedom" and to "make his bedtime just a little bit later than the others, maybe an hour or so" and various other things like that. And it angers me. I am the one that has to make these decisions, I am the one who has to live with the consequences of my decisions on how I raise my children. Yes, I agree that my 11 year old should have a later bedtime than my 4 year old. But you know what? He can't handle it. He melts the next day if loses more than half an hour of sleep. He doesn't sleep in. We have finally gotten to the point where he is willingly staying in his room quietly (and usually without waking his brother) until 8am. He has room darkening curtains. There really isn't much more that I can do, so his bedtime will remain 8:30. He will not be allowed to play with fireworks. He will need to stay in his room quietly until 8:00am for the remainder of summer. These are all things that I am not going to budge on.
Also, with regard to the firework issue, basically, my thought on it (in addition to these ones that I had mentioned the other day) is that allowing my children to light fireworks is giving them permission to play with fire, which I don't think is okay at ANY point in time. Also, if I were to ever allow them to do it, they would have to show me that they could be personally responsible. They need to be able to be responsible and accountable for their actions - and by that definition, Koren would probably be okay to light fireworks but he's only eight. No way is he going to be allowed to do that.
Cephas mentioned camping and the fact that he is allowed to start fires in that instance. I explained that fires during camping are a tool, not a toy. It is used for warmth, for food in addition to enjoyment. But the first two are the primary reasons for a fire during camping. He is also a Scout and they have the "Leave No Trace" policy that they practice. And the last point about it, campfires (done correctly) are CONTAINED.
Speaking of fires being contained, the fire that was raging in our state's national forest (which I didn't even know existed until recently) is now 100% contained. I'm so thankful! (Oh - and wildfires - mention - 3 for 3 - got 'em all in here!)
Apart from the meltdowns, I'd say it was a pleasant 4th of July. It was a quiet day, mostly spent with just our immediate family here at home. I got some personal and family planning done, finalized some details for the remainder of the month (or mostly finalized) and just relaxed as much as possible.
How was your fourth? Did you go to a professional display or stay home and do your own? What is your take on kids and fireworks?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Baby Days
Our youngest is four years old. We are done with the baby stage in our house. Yet, if you had come to our home this past week, you would never have known the difference! Between the stroller on the front porch, the highchair in the dining room, the playpen in the den area, the diaper bag by the front door, the baby clothes neatly folded on the couch, and of course, the baby on my lap, it would appear as though we were right back in the midst of it! This past week we actually have been.
Hubby has a co-worker who has a son that visits three days each "weekend", which really amounts to Sunday-Tuesday and then Friday-Sunday later that week. Then one week off from the baby. It's kind of a confusing schedule but anyhow, that's not the important part. On the Sundays that the baby goes home, I babysit him in the morning while his dad works. So every other weekend, I watch him and take him to church with me and we have a blast.
The baby's mother decided at the beginning of April to move out of state at the last minute. She gave up her apartment and moved across the country, leaving the baby with his father. The interesting part though, is that the dad works double shifts on a lot of the days that he normally doesn't have the baby and the schedule had already been made for him to work.
So, he ran into a bit of dilemma this past week. He has a paper route from 2a-4a then works 8a-2p, has a short break and then goes back to work and works 5p-9p. Rinse and repeat the next day. Fine and dandy. Unless you also have a little one to take care of.
So, Babycakes ended up spending much of this past week with us. He was with us Wednesday morning then went home with his Dad. Dad dropped him off on Wednesday night and he was with us until Dad's break time on Thursday, then back to us and stayed the night Thursday night. Then went back to Dad on Friday after Dad got off work and then came back to us Friday night. And then he was with us from Friday evening until just now, on Sunday afternoon.
We have been in full-on baby mode this past week. And I'm exhausted! It is such a shock to my system to suddenly be on baby duty again. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED having him but it was a big change to wake up in the middle of the night, change diapers again, watch to make sure that things don't go into the baby's mouth, tiny bites of food, wracking my brain trying to remember which foods are not be given before which age. No honey before 1 or is it 2? And what about citrus? It was quite the adventure.
I was very happy to have the baby around. He's such a joy and he really likes being here. Another co-worker of Hubby and Babycakes' Dad commented the other day that Babycakes doesn't like women (it's odd but it is true - he prefers guys WAY more than women) and then another coworker said that Babycakes doesn't really like anyone at their work, then stopped herself and said, "Well, other than his dad, of course. And her," at which point, she motioned to me.
It was one of those moments that really hit me. She was right. Babycakes HAD taken a liking to me. And I AM a woman. He even had started to prefer me over my husband (who he used to prefer, even though I was the one taking care of him). I had finally come into my own where Babycakes was concerned. And that was awesome to realize.
But the baby is gone now. He won't be back til Tuesday. So the baby toys will actually all be put back into their baskets on the shelf, the highchair will go back to the corner of the dining room instead of pulled up to the table full-time, the stroller will go back to the garage, the playpen will be broken down and the diaper bag is not even here right now, and I have the computer on my lap, instead of a baby. My house will get cleaned in a way that I wasn't able to accomplish with a baby that ended up being VERY attached to me. And I will sleep the WHOLE way through the night. And on Tuesday, we begin again. I don't quite recall. Is it possible to stockpile sleep and energy? No? Darn. Well, I am still going to nap this afternoon and enjoy it. And I am going to sleep through the night and I will most definitely enjoy it.
Hubby has a co-worker who has a son that visits three days each "weekend", which really amounts to Sunday-Tuesday and then Friday-Sunday later that week. Then one week off from the baby. It's kind of a confusing schedule but anyhow, that's not the important part. On the Sundays that the baby goes home, I babysit him in the morning while his dad works. So every other weekend, I watch him and take him to church with me and we have a blast.
The baby's mother decided at the beginning of April to move out of state at the last minute. She gave up her apartment and moved across the country, leaving the baby with his father. The interesting part though, is that the dad works double shifts on a lot of the days that he normally doesn't have the baby and the schedule had already been made for him to work.
So, he ran into a bit of dilemma this past week. He has a paper route from 2a-4a then works 8a-2p, has a short break and then goes back to work and works 5p-9p. Rinse and repeat the next day. Fine and dandy. Unless you also have a little one to take care of.
So, Babycakes ended up spending much of this past week with us. He was with us Wednesday morning then went home with his Dad. Dad dropped him off on Wednesday night and he was with us until Dad's break time on Thursday, then back to us and stayed the night Thursday night. Then went back to Dad on Friday after Dad got off work and then came back to us Friday night. And then he was with us from Friday evening until just now, on Sunday afternoon.
We have been in full-on baby mode this past week. And I'm exhausted! It is such a shock to my system to suddenly be on baby duty again. Now don't get me wrong, I LOVED having him but it was a big change to wake up in the middle of the night, change diapers again, watch to make sure that things don't go into the baby's mouth, tiny bites of food, wracking my brain trying to remember which foods are not be given before which age. No honey before 1 or is it 2? And what about citrus? It was quite the adventure.
I was very happy to have the baby around. He's such a joy and he really likes being here. Another co-worker of Hubby and Babycakes' Dad commented the other day that Babycakes doesn't like women (it's odd but it is true - he prefers guys WAY more than women) and then another coworker said that Babycakes doesn't really like anyone at their work, then stopped herself and said, "Well, other than his dad, of course. And her," at which point, she motioned to me.
It was one of those moments that really hit me. She was right. Babycakes HAD taken a liking to me. And I AM a woman. He even had started to prefer me over my husband (who he used to prefer, even though I was the one taking care of him). I had finally come into my own where Babycakes was concerned. And that was awesome to realize.
But the baby is gone now. He won't be back til Tuesday. So the baby toys will actually all be put back into their baskets on the shelf, the highchair will go back to the corner of the dining room instead of pulled up to the table full-time, the stroller will go back to the garage, the playpen will be broken down and the diaper bag is not even here right now, and I have the computer on my lap, instead of a baby. My house will get cleaned in a way that I wasn't able to accomplish with a baby that ended up being VERY attached to me. And I will sleep the WHOLE way through the night. And on Tuesday, we begin again. I don't quite recall. Is it possible to stockpile sleep and energy? No? Darn. Well, I am still going to nap this afternoon and enjoy it. And I am going to sleep through the night and I will most definitely enjoy it.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Super busy-ness
I have come by the blog EVERY single day and even though I have often thought about whipping up a blog post, I just didn't. I journal off of the computer, although that is a different sort of thing than what I write about online. But regardless, I love blogging and I miss doing it regularly
I had mentioned that Jeriah had some changes happen at school, so I am going to share about that and then move on to another (semi-)related topic and that is some of the things that we are going through with Cephas. You will see in the end how the two tie (loosely) together.
So to start with, when Jeriah was 19 months old, he was evaluated by our school district's team of experts (a doctor, a speech/language pathologist, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, and a few other professionals) and they determined that he had PDD-NOS, Pervasive Developmental Delay, Not Otherwise Specified, which is on the Autism Spectrum. We began home-based schooling at that point in time, working with him on language development (he'd had words but "lost" them) and on gross and fine motor skills (He had just started walking the day before his evaluation with the team). We worked with his texture issues and his food intolerances/sensitivities. He had more specialist doctors than the other five of us in our family combined.
Last year (2010-2011 school year), he started school-based, well, schooling. He attended preschool five days a week for half days, then due to some issues, we ended up reducing it down to only 3 days a week. His development really progressed during this process. This year, (2011-2012 school year), he started a new school since we moved over the summer. He has been attending half-days of school, five days a week.
Then in February, we met with his "team" for his MDT meeting. They were talking about the progress he has made this year, which has been incredible. They were setting up his evaluations to see if he still qualified for Special Education and to set up all of the information that they needed for his IEP meeting, which was to happen at the end of the month.
The last day of February, we had a "home visit" with his classroom teacher. I say "home visit" because the visit actually took place at school, instead of at our home (the way that it is generally done), because his teacher is pregnant and has severe allergies and dogs are one of them. We have three dogs. However, Miss C is not able to take her allergy medicine during pregnancy so therefore, home visit at school.
Jeriah, BC (a little guy I take care of here and there) and I met with Miss C for the visit and she told me that Jeriah's testing had come back and that she thought he would probably be dismissed from the Special Education program. Also, we had discussed our options for him for next school year. You see, where we live, the school district has changed the guidelines for Kindergarten. Ever since I was a child, the cut-off date for Kindergarten admission was "5 years by October 15th of the current school year" so a child could enter Kindergarten at age 4, provided that they would turn 5 by October 15th.
Oralee is in Kindergarten right now. Before they had changed the guidelines, we had figured that Jeriah would be just one grade behind her all through school. Then they changed up the guideline and so we had planned on there being a year between the two of them in school. Jeriah was going to attend the preschool program for one more year.
Then, we met for his IEP. And he was released from the program. His IQ testing had all come back at average or above average for his age. His verbal skills are great, his Kindergarten curriculum skills are great (in fact, he's at grade level right now for Kindergarten academics for where Kindergarten is RIGHT NOW in the school year) but he still has his "Jeriah Quirks" as his teacher calls them. They are little things that he does that is just a little bit "off". Mostly, they are social things. He scripts, for one thing. Some of what he says makes sense and is said in context, but the manner in which he says it is scripted. For instance, he will "test" someone else's knowledge (repetitively - which in itself is a quirk) and when they give him a correct answer, he will say "You have the right answer!" Not a big deal, right? The inflection and intonation of his sentence is the exact same every time.
Earlier this year, when Jeriah's first semi-regular non-family babysitter was watching him, she was telling me of an interaction that Jeriah had with her husband. At the end of the conversation, she told me, "Jeriah told B that he correct," and without even thinking about it, I said, "You have the right answer!" with Jeriah's practiced intonation and inflection. She stopped and said, "Oh my gosh! That's exactly what he said! And EXACTLY how he said it! How did you know that?" It's just Jeriah. Anyone who has spent time with him knows some of his scripting.
If you think about the old Taco Bell commercials and the little chihuahua who would say, "Yo quiero Taco Bell" we all can repeat it. Now, imagine if EVERY single time you went to Taco Bell (and let's say you eat there for lunch two or three times a week), you walk in and say, "Yo quiero Taco Bell" in the same tone and with the same inflection as the chihuahua. That would be very much like Jeriah. Correct timing for a phrase but always the same exact phrase, said the same exact way. And that is scripting. Which, as I said, is just ONE of Jeriah's "quirks".
So anyhow, he was released from Special Education and is now attending the same preschool class as before, just sans IEP. He is now one of the "peer models" instead of the one needing the peer model. He still has his social issues (won't generally initiate contact with another child, prefers to parallel play with other children, has developing problem-solving skills when it comes to disagreements with others, and a few other things) but his academic skills are out of this world!
In fact, at the beginning of the year, Miss C made up these little progress books in which she would "test" each student throughout the year and record their progress. It had numbers listed 1-10, kept track of how far a child could rote count, how far they could count with one-to-one correspondence, which letters of the alphabet they knew (lowercase and uppercase), which shapes and colors they knew. Well, Jeriah knew all of his numbers 1-10 (and actually could recognize numbers up to 100), could rote count and could count with one-to-one correspondence to 16 on both (he missed 17 both times and she had to stop him, although he wanted to keep going), knew most of the letters (uppercase and lowercase both!) except for five of them I think, and knew all of the colors and shapes Miss C tested him on.
So, the second time we met, she skipped the numbers portion (although we played Chutes and Ladders and he had a great chance of showing off his number recognition skills), and she had tested him on letter sounds (because he had mastered the "missing" letters shortly after his previous testing) and had tested him on other shapes than the typical preschool level shapes. Things like oval, crescent, hexagon, pentagon, octagon and rhombus (to name a few). By the third meeting, the "testing progress" book was a moot point. Other than his cutting skills, which I am honestly just fine that he doesn't have great scissor skills. :) Personal preference.
So, now we are in the unique place where we can have him attend preschool one more year, as would follow guidelines. Or we can have him tested to enter kindergarten a year early. He would have been one of the youngest with the old guideline, he will be one of the oldest following the new guideline.
We reserved his place in preschool for next year and are setting up a time for him to be tested into Kindergarten for next year. We have the option of not placing him in Kindergarten even if he tests into it.
You know how parenting is an absolute trial and error experience and you generally learn things from one kid to the next? Well, Jeriah is our fourth and last. And I'm STILL learning. Some of what I am learning is all new to me because of his PDD-NOS.
Since he no longer qualifies for Special Education services and coordination, we will be starting to see a behavioral psychologist at a group that specializes in ASD. We found this group because of Cephas and some of the issues we have been having with him.
I have honestly debated on whether or not to share about this but have decided to go ahead and share. You see, Cephas has some issues with staying on task at school, following directions, things all the way up to outright defiance. There are times when I will tell him to stop doing something and he will continue to do it and then proceed to tell me why he is continuing to do it. And while I appreciate his independent thinking, sometimes it is more important to just be able to obey a simple directive immediately. And if it were once in awhile, it wouldn't be such an issue, but it isn't. It is a several-times-a-day kind of thing.
So we went to see someone in this office and while we were there, Cephas DID a few of the things/behaviors/attitudes that we were there to discuss. Now, I know it may sound bad but I was secretly quite relieved that he did that. Just because it gave some of my concerns about him more validity, if that makes sense. I think we may end up looking at an Aspberger's diagnosis down the line. I can't say for sure though, which is part of the reason that we are there. To see if there is something that we can do to help him, or at the very least come up with strategies to help him be successful.
So, there you have it. Jeriah's exciting school thing and Cephas's behavior thing. Slowly but surely, I am going to get caught up!
I had mentioned that Jeriah had some changes happen at school, so I am going to share about that and then move on to another (semi-)related topic and that is some of the things that we are going through with Cephas. You will see in the end how the two tie (loosely) together.
So to start with, when Jeriah was 19 months old, he was evaluated by our school district's team of experts (a doctor, a speech/language pathologist, an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, and a few other professionals) and they determined that he had PDD-NOS, Pervasive Developmental Delay, Not Otherwise Specified, which is on the Autism Spectrum. We began home-based schooling at that point in time, working with him on language development (he'd had words but "lost" them) and on gross and fine motor skills (He had just started walking the day before his evaluation with the team). We worked with his texture issues and his food intolerances/sensitivities. He had more specialist doctors than the other five of us in our family combined.
Last year (2010-2011 school year), he started school-based, well, schooling. He attended preschool five days a week for half days, then due to some issues, we ended up reducing it down to only 3 days a week. His development really progressed during this process. This year, (2011-2012 school year), he started a new school since we moved over the summer. He has been attending half-days of school, five days a week.
Then in February, we met with his "team" for his MDT meeting. They were talking about the progress he has made this year, which has been incredible. They were setting up his evaluations to see if he still qualified for Special Education and to set up all of the information that they needed for his IEP meeting, which was to happen at the end of the month.
The last day of February, we had a "home visit" with his classroom teacher. I say "home visit" because the visit actually took place at school, instead of at our home (the way that it is generally done), because his teacher is pregnant and has severe allergies and dogs are one of them. We have three dogs. However, Miss C is not able to take her allergy medicine during pregnancy so therefore, home visit at school.
Jeriah, BC (a little guy I take care of here and there) and I met with Miss C for the visit and she told me that Jeriah's testing had come back and that she thought he would probably be dismissed from the Special Education program. Also, we had discussed our options for him for next school year. You see, where we live, the school district has changed the guidelines for Kindergarten. Ever since I was a child, the cut-off date for Kindergarten admission was "5 years by October 15th of the current school year" so a child could enter Kindergarten at age 4, provided that they would turn 5 by October 15th.
Oralee is in Kindergarten right now. Before they had changed the guidelines, we had figured that Jeriah would be just one grade behind her all through school. Then they changed up the guideline and so we had planned on there being a year between the two of them in school. Jeriah was going to attend the preschool program for one more year.
Then, we met for his IEP. And he was released from the program. His IQ testing had all come back at average or above average for his age. His verbal skills are great, his Kindergarten curriculum skills are great (in fact, he's at grade level right now for Kindergarten academics for where Kindergarten is RIGHT NOW in the school year) but he still has his "Jeriah Quirks" as his teacher calls them. They are little things that he does that is just a little bit "off". Mostly, they are social things. He scripts, for one thing. Some of what he says makes sense and is said in context, but the manner in which he says it is scripted. For instance, he will "test" someone else's knowledge (repetitively - which in itself is a quirk) and when they give him a correct answer, he will say "You have the right answer!" Not a big deal, right? The inflection and intonation of his sentence is the exact same every time.
Earlier this year, when Jeriah's first semi-regular non-family babysitter was watching him, she was telling me of an interaction that Jeriah had with her husband. At the end of the conversation, she told me, "Jeriah told B that he correct," and without even thinking about it, I said, "You have the right answer!" with Jeriah's practiced intonation and inflection. She stopped and said, "Oh my gosh! That's exactly what he said! And EXACTLY how he said it! How did you know that?" It's just Jeriah. Anyone who has spent time with him knows some of his scripting.
If you think about the old Taco Bell commercials and the little chihuahua who would say, "Yo quiero Taco Bell" we all can repeat it. Now, imagine if EVERY single time you went to Taco Bell (and let's say you eat there for lunch two or three times a week), you walk in and say, "Yo quiero Taco Bell" in the same tone and with the same inflection as the chihuahua. That would be very much like Jeriah. Correct timing for a phrase but always the same exact phrase, said the same exact way. And that is scripting. Which, as I said, is just ONE of Jeriah's "quirks".
So anyhow, he was released from Special Education and is now attending the same preschool class as before, just sans IEP. He is now one of the "peer models" instead of the one needing the peer model. He still has his social issues (won't generally initiate contact with another child, prefers to parallel play with other children, has developing problem-solving skills when it comes to disagreements with others, and a few other things) but his academic skills are out of this world!
In fact, at the beginning of the year, Miss C made up these little progress books in which she would "test" each student throughout the year and record their progress. It had numbers listed 1-10, kept track of how far a child could rote count, how far they could count with one-to-one correspondence, which letters of the alphabet they knew (lowercase and uppercase), which shapes and colors they knew. Well, Jeriah knew all of his numbers 1-10 (and actually could recognize numbers up to 100), could rote count and could count with one-to-one correspondence to 16 on both (he missed 17 both times and she had to stop him, although he wanted to keep going), knew most of the letters (uppercase and lowercase both!) except for five of them I think, and knew all of the colors and shapes Miss C tested him on.
So, the second time we met, she skipped the numbers portion (although we played Chutes and Ladders and he had a great chance of showing off his number recognition skills), and she had tested him on letter sounds (because he had mastered the "missing" letters shortly after his previous testing) and had tested him on other shapes than the typical preschool level shapes. Things like oval, crescent, hexagon, pentagon, octagon and rhombus (to name a few). By the third meeting, the "testing progress" book was a moot point. Other than his cutting skills, which I am honestly just fine that he doesn't have great scissor skills. :) Personal preference.
So, now we are in the unique place where we can have him attend preschool one more year, as would follow guidelines. Or we can have him tested to enter kindergarten a year early. He would have been one of the youngest with the old guideline, he will be one of the oldest following the new guideline.
We reserved his place in preschool for next year and are setting up a time for him to be tested into Kindergarten for next year. We have the option of not placing him in Kindergarten even if he tests into it.
You know how parenting is an absolute trial and error experience and you generally learn things from one kid to the next? Well, Jeriah is our fourth and last. And I'm STILL learning. Some of what I am learning is all new to me because of his PDD-NOS.
Since he no longer qualifies for Special Education services and coordination, we will be starting to see a behavioral psychologist at a group that specializes in ASD. We found this group because of Cephas and some of the issues we have been having with him.
I have honestly debated on whether or not to share about this but have decided to go ahead and share. You see, Cephas has some issues with staying on task at school, following directions, things all the way up to outright defiance. There are times when I will tell him to stop doing something and he will continue to do it and then proceed to tell me why he is continuing to do it. And while I appreciate his independent thinking, sometimes it is more important to just be able to obey a simple directive immediately. And if it were once in awhile, it wouldn't be such an issue, but it isn't. It is a several-times-a-day kind of thing.
So we went to see someone in this office and while we were there, Cephas DID a few of the things/behaviors/attitudes that we were there to discuss. Now, I know it may sound bad but I was secretly quite relieved that he did that. Just because it gave some of my concerns about him more validity, if that makes sense. I think we may end up looking at an Aspberger's diagnosis down the line. I can't say for sure though, which is part of the reason that we are there. To see if there is something that we can do to help him, or at the very least come up with strategies to help him be successful.
So, there you have it. Jeriah's exciting school thing and Cephas's behavior thing. Slowly but surely, I am going to get caught up!
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