I didn't intend to taake that long of a break from my blog here. Wow. Life got crazy busy and I was so busy living it, that I didn't blog about it.
In January, Hubby's grandmother died. She was buried in May. A week ago, my stepdad (my mom's ex-husband) died and his funeral was this past weekend.
Last school year, when Jeriah was in first grade, we were struggling with behavior and sleep issues both, while trying to get the school to recognize his need for both diff education and special education. We have since solved the sleep issue, have made significant progress in the behavior issue, Jeriah is in diff education for math and language arts and may not need the services from the special education department afterall.
This summer, Cephas and Koren swam for our local YMCA team and competed in four competitions, including our city championship. This fall, Cephas is continuing with team, while also playing football for the A squad on our city's midget football league. Next year, he will play freshman football. I can't believe it.
Koren decided not to do swim team this fall, so he will be doing taekwondo instead. He is also in the advanced orchestra at his school. During the summer, he went to school for two weeks, to be trained as a reading tutor, so he will be tutoring after school as well.
Oralee has been asked to join swim team, after a coach saw her swim at a team celebration. She loves it, even though she still has a lot to learn. She took piano this summer and we are currently on the lookout for a new teacher, because her teacher moved.
Jeriah also took piano this summer, which he loves. We really want to get him back to it as soon as possible. He is also going to be doing taekwondo with Koren. I hope it is good for him. We have had such huge improvements this summer, which have continued into our school year, with a few minor tweaks.
I just wanted to get a post on here, with a quick catch up. More tomorrow maybe.
Showing posts with label Jeriah. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeriah. Show all posts
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Saturday, January 4, 2014
Family Activities - Week One
One of my goals for this year was to make an extra effort to spend some time doing family activities each week. There were a few from this past week that I could have chosen from, but the one that I am choosing to share is a trip that the kids and I took to a large gingerbread house display that was held at the Winter Quarters Visitors Center.
Here are some of the amazing pieces:
Mary and Joseph travelling to Jerusalem.
The Birth of Christ
Christ as a little child
John the Baptist baptizing Jesus.
Jesus healing the blind man.
Jesus healing the leper.
The Last Supper
The Resurrection
It was an absolutely amazing time! I feel incredibly blessed and thankful that we were able to go and visit and learn about this time in history! And a few fun shots of the kids:
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Here are some of the amazing pieces:
And then there was the life of Christ as depicted in gingerbread style:
Mary and Joseph travelling to Jerusalem.
The Birth of Christ
Christ as a little child
John the Baptist baptizing Jesus.
Jesus healing the blind man.
Jesus healing the leper.
Jesus calls the children to Him.
The Last Supper
The Resurrection
Some other pics from the museum portion of the Visitors Center:
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The kids standing outside a replica of a log cabin home reminiscent of the time. Cephas is all in black, with his arms across his chest. A friend of ours joked around that he looks like a bouncer, which is doubly funny to me, because we don't drink.
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Koren, Oralee and Jeriah pretending to pull a handcart like many of those who travelled from Illinois all the way to Utah.
It was such a blast and I am so thankful that we had the opportunity to go and visit and have fun and learn!
Friday, January 3, 2014
Company Girl Coffee Week 1
There have been so many things lately that I could share with you all, but I am not sure where to even start.
December was an interesting month for my family. We had so many things happening all at once! For starters, the kids and I attended church services all but one Sunday, when a family Christmas coincided with services.
Jeriah, my little six year old Aspie (which is no longer an official diagnosis anymore), has been having a rough run at school since the beginning of November. He has been suspended once, has been in the Alternate Learning Environment room countless times, but December showed marked improvement for him at school.
We are pushing for Jeriah to get an IEP at school. His behavioral psychologist thinks he should have one also. The school has been extremely resistant to putting him on one, opting to exhaust every possible resource that they can. We'll see what happens though. Jeriah was in Special Education from the time he was a year and a half old until he was four and a half.
This year, at one of our meetings for Jeriah, the school recommemded that he be placed in the Differentiated Math class (which I recommended last year as he is able to do his sister's homework with ease and without instruction).
I have a feeling that by the end of this school year, he will be in both Differentiated Education and Special Education. He's just that kind of kid.
Earlier this month , when we were at church, Hubby had the day off of work and I had asked him to join us. He dropped us off at church with plans to come back after services were over to pick us up. I had a feeling, call it intuition, that he should stick around that day, but he really didn't want to and so I didn't press the issue.
Sacrament meeting went well enough. Jeriah kept his shoes (which are likely to be thrown at a moment's notice) to himself and behaved fairly well for the most part. Second hour came and it was time for our Sunday School classes. Jeriah ran off to his class and was ready before I had even gathered my bags from the meeting.
During Sunday School, Jeriah was escorted into my class by his teacher, who was holding Jeriah's hands over his head and steering him in the direction he needed to go. I excused myself from class and went out into the hall, hoping to get Jeriah back on track. It didn't work. As I struggled with him and desperately tried to reach my husband, I was quickly losing patience. It was heart-wrenching to experience. I have never had such a dificult time with any of the kids (him included) as I did that day.
When I finally got ahold of Hubby, I tearfully (partially sad, mostly angry) begged him to come back and get this child. Then I went out into the foyer to sit and wait for Hubby to show up.
The next Sunday was the one we missed for the family Christmas. By the following Sunday, I asked Hubby to please please please come to church with us. That way, I wouldn't have to miss any of my classes if Jeriah acted up. He agreed.
The plan was for Hubby to sit with us during Sacrament meeting and then to hang out in the foyer during second and third hour classes. I told him that he could bring the laptop to play on or surf the web while hewaiting for us, but that it was important that he remain there during that time so that I wouldn't miss my classes.
Jeriah didn't need to be removed that week (or the following week) so I think having Hubby there is having a positive kmpact on Jeriah.
The second week that Hubby was there, I actually did miss my Sunday School class. We sat in the foyer together and talked about a calling at church that we had been asked to consider accepting. We also discussed some activities that my church recommends that families do together each week and we went over the first lesson in the manual. I missed my class, but I felt that it was a very worthwhile cause for which to miss.
Also during the month, we had received some major acts of kindness from a church member that I barely knew by sight. Our hvac system in our home is rated for efficiency for half the square footage of our home. During the summer, our home gets very very hot and during the winter, it gets very very cold. We supplement our hvac system with either fans or space heaters.
During this month, our two best space heaters went out. They are meant for part-time, supplementary use, not the nearly full- time primary use we were needing from them. This gentleman was pulled out of his bed at 11pm to dig out two space heaters they had and bring them over with her. I had no clue that she might do that. I had posted on facebook my frustration about our hvac situation and she jumped to action.
When they dropped the heaters off, the husband said he could probably help take a look at our system and maybe come up with a partial, temporary fix. I figured, in all honesty, that it was an empty offer. But it wasn't. Within four days, he had recruited the missionaries from our ward and between the three of them, my husband and two of our boys, the hvac system was greatly improved. As it turned out, there were points in the system where the ductwork wasn't even attached to the vents that the air was supposed to be coming out of. So while the system itself still is too small, we no longer have cold air coming in through the vents.
As a result of that day, I asked the missionaries to stay for dinner, which Hubby was completely fine with. They agreed, even though I ended up stealing them away from my visiting teaching companion, who was supposed to feed them that night.
All that being said, there was a huge change in Hubby this past month. He went from not wanting to have anything to do with anyone from church (not even wanting them to come over) to not only having them over, but hosting them for dinner, attending church with us, accepting a calling at church, working to plan and implement the weekly family lessons that are recommended and being a huge encouragement to the kids and I in spiritual matters. He even attended a dinner and game night that a friend from church hosted, in which he was the only non-member present. The best part was that he really enjoyed himself. No pressure, just good family fun.
Wow. That ended up being quite the post! I have another lengthy topic, but I will save that one for next week. Have a wonderful day, ladies! It's so good to be back!
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Labor Day
Today was an odd kind of day. I had planned to get up and spend much of the day doing homework, but ended up sleeping in. I have had hay fever this past week like nobody's business and it has been turning my world upside down.
I ended up staying in bed until around ten o'clock this morning, then I got up and started working on some homework. Truthfully, with all that has happened in our house in the last month and some medical issues I have been dealing with, I think I may end up failing this class if I am not able to drop it. I am going to talk to the instructor tomorrow about it and ask if I can drop it. I am guessing that I will need to have her permission to do so, since it is so late in the quarter. I just need to figure out what it is that I need to do for this class. I did get a full week's worth of work done. Problem is that I need to get four more week's worth done before Wednesday to get caught up. I don't think that is going to happen, but I'm going to try before I make my decision.
Hubby and I went down to get the kids from his parents around three in the afternoon. Oralee has learned how to ride her bike without training wheels finally. She's seven and has been terrified of riding without training wheels. We were certain that Jeriah was going to ride without them first. But Grandma said that Oralee was watching Angel tootle (yes, that's the word she used) around on the bike without needing the extra support and Oralee decided that if Angel (who is two years younger than her) could do it so easily, then she could too. She was determined to do it and now she can!
This is Oralee with the bike we bought her for her sixth birthday. We will be taking the training wheels off and she'll be ready to go!
Jeriah is the last one to learn how to ride a bike unsupported. If he is willing to ride on the tandem bike attachment, family bike rides are now an option. They just haven't been for a little bit now because the Jeriah and Oralee weigh too much together to be pulled in the bike trailer - not to mention, that they are cramped as can be in there!
When we got home, we had the kids do their chores and Hubby made supper while I worked on our month's menu and this week's grocery list. After dinner, I was hit HARD with a migraine. The kind of migraine where you don't even want to move. Thankfully, the kids are pretty much able to get themselves ready for bed and with Hubby's encouragement, they did what they were supposed to do.
Once all five of the kids were in bed and my migraine had subsided enough for me to function, I left for the grocery store. I picked up some fast food and a shake for Hubby on the way home but had to have Hubby bring all of the groceries in because I was having this horrible post-migraine shakey pukey feeling that is incredibly uncomfortable and scary to me.
He brought the groceries in and put the cold stuff away. The non-cold items are still sitting around in bags but I'll get to them first thing tomorrow morning. Well, maybe not first thing, but early on in the morning.
I have Paytin tomorrow morning so I need to make sure that the living room and den areas are really neat and tidy first. It just makes me feel better if those two rooms are at least tidy before her dad drops her off. Once she is here and napping, then I can get to work on the kitchen and putting the groceries away and folding the laundry and all that jazz.
Overall though, it's been a pretty decent day. I got a lot of stuff done today, despite feeling like I hadn't accomplished really anything at all.
I ended up staying in bed until around ten o'clock this morning, then I got up and started working on some homework. Truthfully, with all that has happened in our house in the last month and some medical issues I have been dealing with, I think I may end up failing this class if I am not able to drop it. I am going to talk to the instructor tomorrow about it and ask if I can drop it. I am guessing that I will need to have her permission to do so, since it is so late in the quarter. I just need to figure out what it is that I need to do for this class. I did get a full week's worth of work done. Problem is that I need to get four more week's worth done before Wednesday to get caught up. I don't think that is going to happen, but I'm going to try before I make my decision.
Hubby and I went down to get the kids from his parents around three in the afternoon. Oralee has learned how to ride her bike without training wheels finally. She's seven and has been terrified of riding without training wheels. We were certain that Jeriah was going to ride without them first. But Grandma said that Oralee was watching Angel tootle (yes, that's the word she used) around on the bike without needing the extra support and Oralee decided that if Angel (who is two years younger than her) could do it so easily, then she could too. She was determined to do it and now she can!
This is Oralee with the bike we bought her for her sixth birthday. We will be taking the training wheels off and she'll be ready to go!
Jeriah is the last one to learn how to ride a bike unsupported. If he is willing to ride on the tandem bike attachment, family bike rides are now an option. They just haven't been for a little bit now because the Jeriah and Oralee weigh too much together to be pulled in the bike trailer - not to mention, that they are cramped as can be in there!
When we got home, we had the kids do their chores and Hubby made supper while I worked on our month's menu and this week's grocery list. After dinner, I was hit HARD with a migraine. The kind of migraine where you don't even want to move. Thankfully, the kids are pretty much able to get themselves ready for bed and with Hubby's encouragement, they did what they were supposed to do.
Once all five of the kids were in bed and my migraine had subsided enough for me to function, I left for the grocery store. I picked up some fast food and a shake for Hubby on the way home but had to have Hubby bring all of the groceries in because I was having this horrible post-migraine shakey pukey feeling that is incredibly uncomfortable and scary to me.
He brought the groceries in and put the cold stuff away. The non-cold items are still sitting around in bags but I'll get to them first thing tomorrow morning. Well, maybe not first thing, but early on in the morning.
I have Paytin tomorrow morning so I need to make sure that the living room and den areas are really neat and tidy first. It just makes me feel better if those two rooms are at least tidy before her dad drops her off. Once she is here and napping, then I can get to work on the kitchen and putting the groceries away and folding the laundry and all that jazz.
Overall though, it's been a pretty decent day. I got a lot of stuff done today, despite feeling like I hadn't accomplished really anything at all.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
Playing Catch-Up
I feel like that is what I do with most of my time right now. It is quite crazy to be honest. But first, I have to catch you all up to where we are now:
Cephas, age 12, seventh grade, center on his football team. ADHD fairly well controlled now, ODD getting controlled, aggression well under control. Trying to parent the younger kids: still a major issue. Has a best friend he likes to hang out with. I love it because it gives him a chance to be with another kid without his own siblings around. Best friend, Andy, has an older sister but she is much older than him and lives elsewhere for her college.
Koren, age 9 but almost 10, fourth grade, first year playing football. Still very studious and loves to learn, read, build with legos and hang out with his friends. His friends mostly live near us, so he can play with them outside near our home. Starting to come into his own stronger personality, but still loves to snuggle (even with Mom!)
Oralee, age 7, second grade. Princess-turned-Diva-turned-well, a handful. Has MAJOR attitude going on most of the time, but we're working on it. I have a pretty good idea what could be causing some of it though. Loves reading, writing stories, playing with her dollhouse and art projects. Also loves having Mom do her nails and hair. Nearly impossible to get this child to wear regular shoes, as she strongly prefers calf- or knee-high boots.
Jeriah, age 5 almost 6, first grade. Still has Asperger's, still reads way above grade level. Comprehension is still closer to grade level though. Very advanced in math. Can do sister's second-grade homework with ease. Brought home his first spelling pre-test of first grade this week with a perfect score on all of the regular words, plus the bonus words were spelled correctly as well. The challenge words are not given on the pre-test, but he was able to orally spell those for me when I asked him to. Kid is a whiz with words! Socially still at a deficit, but that is to be expected. Has started to pick on his sister. (Part of her issue with being a handful anymore.) Demanded some dignity about his bedroom situation and moved from the "girly room" he shared with his sister to the room his brothers occupy. Now, we have a boys' room and a girls' room.
Yes, a girls' (as in plural) room. No, I didn't have a baby, but yes, we kind of, sort of, have another kid. You might remember Angel, a kid whose mother works with Hubby. Well, just before the school year started, Angel's mom's life turned a little bit upside down and things were pretty shaky there for a little bit. I offered to have Angel stay with us so that her Mom could get herself situated and some things worked out. Angel is now with us temporarily but indefinitely. We have no legal rights or claim to her, her mom has full custody of her, but she just happens to be with us most of the time. So:
Angel, age 5, kindergarten. Adjusting well to being here and starting school. Loves being in school and is so proud of her work. Can now write her name. We had about four months where I didn't really have her, so she may have learned how to do it in that time, but I just now know about it. Does an amazingly perfect cartwheel (I'm thinking gymnastics may be in her future here soon!) and has gotten over her quiet shyness for the most part.
So, if you are following along, that's five kids, two in football, two who are on the Autism Spectrum. Busy yet? Nope! Cephas and Koren are both still in Boy and Cub Scouts, respectively. We were considering putting Jeriah in our school's Scouting program, but in doing so, he would advance from Bear to Wolf and then transfer to his brothers' Pack/Troop and have to go back to being a Bear, because of the difference in the way they do their Scouts. And instead of having Oralee do formal Girl Scouts this year, I have strongly considered doing Juliettes with her. It's basically like Girl Scouts for homeschoolers. She would do her activities and earn her badges and all that, but we would do it independent of a group. It is basically what ended up happening in her first year as a Daisy as well. And since we have Angel, she would also do Juliettes as well.
If that isn't all enough, you might remember we have three dogs: Tink, Tiny and Freddy. Tink and Tiny are Chihuahuas and Freddy is a Cocker Spaniel. To mix things up a bit, we added a cat, Phineas or Phinny for short. When we got him, we were pretty sure that Freddy wanted to eat him, but within a few days, they got along well enough. Now, Phinny does his own thing, the dogs do their own thing and all is well.
Hubby just passed his two-year anniversary at his work. There's a lot of stress there right now because he works in a restaurant and the restaurant chain was bought out by another company late last year and they have made some changes since the purchase. Well, on top of that, his store is also going through a Revitalization Phase. They are getting a full-store remodel and they are staying open throughout the whole thing, minus only ONE day! Can you imagine?! I'm so thankful that I don't work there. On top of being fired for being insubordinate to the General Manager (he's a friend of mine), I'd want to pull my hair out at all of the changes going on.
Speaking of changes, I have a couple of new things going on in my own life. I have started back to school. I started back in classes in Spring. I took 16.5 credit hours (4 classes) during the regular 10-week quarter, 4.5 credit hours (1 class) for the accelerated 5-week quarter and another 4.5 credit hours (1 class) for the accelerated 3-week quarter. I was able to knock 25.5 credit hours out in one quarter alone. For the summer quarter, I have slowed it down to only 18 credit hours (4 classes) and for fall, I am slowing it down just a bit more to the smallest amount that I am even willing to take and will only be taking 12.5 credit hours (3 classes), although I am struggling with that decision, feeling that I should still take 4 classes. Oh - and for my crazy Spring quarter? Term GPA of 3.588.
And to finish off the changes that will catch you up the rest of the way, I have started caring for another one of Hubby's co-worker's children. Her name is Paytin. I have her only part-time as I have a traditional class during the day, three days a week which is when her parents would be needing me to watch her. Instead, I watch her on my non-class weekdays. The very first day I watched her, she was only 15 days old. I actually had to check and make sure it was legal to watch her as I do daycare part-time, but am license-exempt. It is actually because I am license-exempt that I was able to take her. Her mom went back to work before Paytin was even two weeks old. I am in awe of her, to be honest. No way was I ready to go back to work that soon after having my kids. But she is determined. Both of Paytin's parents are going to be taking college courses this fall in addition to working and raising a newborn. They are going to be taking online classes. I haven't the slightest idea how they are going to do it all, but they are young, they are in love, they are determined and they are working hard to make the best life they can for tiny little Paytin and themselves.
And I'm pretty sure that you are now all caught up with our lives here. Stay tuned though. I plan to update more than every six months.
Cephas, age 12, seventh grade, center on his football team. ADHD fairly well controlled now, ODD getting controlled, aggression well under control. Trying to parent the younger kids: still a major issue. Has a best friend he likes to hang out with. I love it because it gives him a chance to be with another kid without his own siblings around. Best friend, Andy, has an older sister but she is much older than him and lives elsewhere for her college.
Koren, age 9 but almost 10, fourth grade, first year playing football. Still very studious and loves to learn, read, build with legos and hang out with his friends. His friends mostly live near us, so he can play with them outside near our home. Starting to come into his own stronger personality, but still loves to snuggle (even with Mom!)
Oralee, age 7, second grade. Princess-turned-Diva-turned-well, a handful. Has MAJOR attitude going on most of the time, but we're working on it. I have a pretty good idea what could be causing some of it though. Loves reading, writing stories, playing with her dollhouse and art projects. Also loves having Mom do her nails and hair. Nearly impossible to get this child to wear regular shoes, as she strongly prefers calf- or knee-high boots.
Jeriah, age 5 almost 6, first grade. Still has Asperger's, still reads way above grade level. Comprehension is still closer to grade level though. Very advanced in math. Can do sister's second-grade homework with ease. Brought home his first spelling pre-test of first grade this week with a perfect score on all of the regular words, plus the bonus words were spelled correctly as well. The challenge words are not given on the pre-test, but he was able to orally spell those for me when I asked him to. Kid is a whiz with words! Socially still at a deficit, but that is to be expected. Has started to pick on his sister. (Part of her issue with being a handful anymore.) Demanded some dignity about his bedroom situation and moved from the "girly room" he shared with his sister to the room his brothers occupy. Now, we have a boys' room and a girls' room.
Yes, a girls' (as in plural) room. No, I didn't have a baby, but yes, we kind of, sort of, have another kid. You might remember Angel, a kid whose mother works with Hubby. Well, just before the school year started, Angel's mom's life turned a little bit upside down and things were pretty shaky there for a little bit. I offered to have Angel stay with us so that her Mom could get herself situated and some things worked out. Angel is now with us temporarily but indefinitely. We have no legal rights or claim to her, her mom has full custody of her, but she just happens to be with us most of the time. So:
Angel, age 5, kindergarten. Adjusting well to being here and starting school. Loves being in school and is so proud of her work. Can now write her name. We had about four months where I didn't really have her, so she may have learned how to do it in that time, but I just now know about it. Does an amazingly perfect cartwheel (I'm thinking gymnastics may be in her future here soon!) and has gotten over her quiet shyness for the most part.
So, if you are following along, that's five kids, two in football, two who are on the Autism Spectrum. Busy yet? Nope! Cephas and Koren are both still in Boy and Cub Scouts, respectively. We were considering putting Jeriah in our school's Scouting program, but in doing so, he would advance from Bear to Wolf and then transfer to his brothers' Pack/Troop and have to go back to being a Bear, because of the difference in the way they do their Scouts. And instead of having Oralee do formal Girl Scouts this year, I have strongly considered doing Juliettes with her. It's basically like Girl Scouts for homeschoolers. She would do her activities and earn her badges and all that, but we would do it independent of a group. It is basically what ended up happening in her first year as a Daisy as well. And since we have Angel, she would also do Juliettes as well.
If that isn't all enough, you might remember we have three dogs: Tink, Tiny and Freddy. Tink and Tiny are Chihuahuas and Freddy is a Cocker Spaniel. To mix things up a bit, we added a cat, Phineas or Phinny for short. When we got him, we were pretty sure that Freddy wanted to eat him, but within a few days, they got along well enough. Now, Phinny does his own thing, the dogs do their own thing and all is well.
Hubby just passed his two-year anniversary at his work. There's a lot of stress there right now because he works in a restaurant and the restaurant chain was bought out by another company late last year and they have made some changes since the purchase. Well, on top of that, his store is also going through a Revitalization Phase. They are getting a full-store remodel and they are staying open throughout the whole thing, minus only ONE day! Can you imagine?! I'm so thankful that I don't work there. On top of being fired for being insubordinate to the General Manager (he's a friend of mine), I'd want to pull my hair out at all of the changes going on.
Speaking of changes, I have a couple of new things going on in my own life. I have started back to school. I started back in classes in Spring. I took 16.5 credit hours (4 classes) during the regular 10-week quarter, 4.5 credit hours (1 class) for the accelerated 5-week quarter and another 4.5 credit hours (1 class) for the accelerated 3-week quarter. I was able to knock 25.5 credit hours out in one quarter alone. For the summer quarter, I have slowed it down to only 18 credit hours (4 classes) and for fall, I am slowing it down just a bit more to the smallest amount that I am even willing to take and will only be taking 12.5 credit hours (3 classes), although I am struggling with that decision, feeling that I should still take 4 classes. Oh - and for my crazy Spring quarter? Term GPA of 3.588.
And to finish off the changes that will catch you up the rest of the way, I have started caring for another one of Hubby's co-worker's children. Her name is Paytin. I have her only part-time as I have a traditional class during the day, three days a week which is when her parents would be needing me to watch her. Instead, I watch her on my non-class weekdays. The very first day I watched her, she was only 15 days old. I actually had to check and make sure it was legal to watch her as I do daycare part-time, but am license-exempt. It is actually because I am license-exempt that I was able to take her. Her mom went back to work before Paytin was even two weeks old. I am in awe of her, to be honest. No way was I ready to go back to work that soon after having my kids. But she is determined. Both of Paytin's parents are going to be taking college courses this fall in addition to working and raising a newborn. They are going to be taking online classes. I haven't the slightest idea how they are going to do it all, but they are young, they are in love, they are determined and they are working hard to make the best life they can for tiny little Paytin and themselves.
And I'm pretty sure that you are now all caught up with our lives here. Stay tuned though. I plan to update more than every six months.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
ADHD, ODD and Aspergers, oh my!
I have talked some before about Jeriah's Aspergers and how he is doing such a fantastic job with school and social situattions, and learning and all that. And I have mentioned briefly about Cephas and his ADHD. Well, here's a little bit of an update about these two kiddos.
Jeriah is still doing an amazing job at school. He has adapted quite nicely to his school routine and to his work and expectations there. His grades at school are all at either meeting or exceeding district standards, which is amazing. At home, though, it's a different story. He has been really defiant and refuses to help out or cooperate or whatever. It's trying on a mama, let me tell you. There are some days and situations where my energy and abilities are long spent just a few hours after he wakes up. I need to schedule another appointment for him with our therapist. This mama needs some resources to deal with this very strong-willed child. He is amazingly smart and I adore him to pieces, but I'm at a point where I need some kind of resources and ideas for what to do now.
I had this same issue with Cephas at this age. It was so INCREDIBLY difficult because with Cephas, I had two younger children at this age, one of which was a baby. With Jeriah, I think it's almost worse though, because I also have Cephas at his current stage, which is taxing at this point, to say the least.
Cephas was diagnosed with ADHD last Spring ('12) and we didn't want to medicate initially. Plus, he had Midget Football, which took up a LOT of time and energy and everything else. It was something that was physically grueling for him and kept him busy enough that he was too exhausted on a regular basis to act out. And then football season ended. And then we started back in with some of the issues.
Two weeks ago, after about a month of really considering the options, we went ahead and met with someone in the psychology office who is in charge of prescribing medications. She put him on a low dose of one ADHD med for him to take that week. It's a short-acting medication and is only in his system for a very limited period of time. Then, the second week (this week), the dose was doubled and would last for twice as long. And it has done an AMAZING job for him at school. He has been able to focus and not even his best friend goofing around here and there has been much of a distraction issue while he is in school. But then, he gets home, the medication wears off and we have our hands FULL. I try to get him to do his chores and homework immediately after school while his meds are still possibly in effect, but if something comes up and we're delayed by an hour or so, the rest of the night is a complete struggle.
Anyhow, before I go into all of that, I should share about the visit that we had with his psychologist before we went to meet with the person in the office who makes the medication decisions. Anyhow, I was talking to the psychologist and told her that it often feels like in addition to his ADHD (which we have talked about and worked with at length) that it feels like he also has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and sometimes a touch of depression and with all of these things combined, it's like he has bi-polar or something.
She validated my feelings about all of that and showed my Cephas' graded assessments, in which his scores were 99.99% ADHD, 99.99% ODD, 99.99% Aggression (something or other) and I was like, Oh wow. Suddenly, it all seems to make sense. It's not just me losing my mind with this child (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong!)
So, we met with the other person and started him on this medication. We have a meeting with both women coming up this next week and I cannot wait! There's potential that we will end up giving Cephas the low-dose med after school to get him through the evening and we may end up needing to give him another one to help him sleep as well. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this, but I really and truly dislike medications, but we are at the point where there's little other choice. We cannot have him un-medicated right now. But part of the problem that we are having right now is a side effect from the med of restlessness and insomnia. He's always had sleep issues and now on top of that, he has a medication that makes him more prone to it. So, in addition to the medication wearing off around the same time that he gets home from school, he's also not sleeping well at night and he is excessively tired, yet restless at the same time. It seems to be a vicious cycle.
These past few days in particular have been extremely challenging. I think that there has been three days in a row now that have me at my wit's end. The first two days that he was on the stronger dose, we didn't really have any major issues. However, I do think that by the third day, the sleep issue was really starting to catch up with him. All I know for sure is that I cannot wait until next week to meet with both ladies. I don't know if they are going to change his med, add on to it for the evening hours, or give him a sleeping aid of some sort. I almost want to try for the sleep aid first and see if that helps with the evening hours and the restlessness and insomnia issue first. But I don't know what route would be best to go.
It seems that he functions best when he is over-scheduled. You know, there was a big thing about kids being too over-scheduled and how they don't have downtime in our society, etc for quite a while a few years back. But Cephas seems to thrive and function the best when he is constantly on the go. However, I can't do it. Even if I don't have to do all of it, I'm still the one that has to take him here, there and everywhere else and it wears me out.
Right now, we have him involved in Swim Club. (Koren is also in Swim Club, while Oralee and Jeriah are in swim lessons.) Swim Club is quite physically demanding. Koren was complaining that they pushed him too hard, but Cephas kept pace with it really well. He has to do Swim Club before he can do Swim Team. I cannot wait for him to do Swim Team. He needs that intensity. Right now, Swim Club is twice a week. After this session is over, I plan on keeping Koren in Club and putting Cephas on the Team. Hopefully that will help matters as well. Then, this Spring, Cephas will also be playing soccer, Koren will be playing flag football, Oralee will be playing volleyball and Jeriah will be in soccer as well. It's such a demanding sports schedule, but given the similarities between Cephas and Jeriah at Jeriah's current age, I think it may be very beneficial to keep him busy as well. I've also toyed with the idea of having the boys do gymnastics, as Koren wants to and so does Jeriah. Oralee wants to do dance classes.
Anyone else exhausted just thinking about this? Because I am just from typing it and trying to keep it all straight. If I am sparse in posting over the next few weeks, this is why. I'm just trying to keep up with my ASD kiddos.
I also got into a huge disagreement with one of my best friends tonight. This is someone who hasn't been around for just over six months because he was deployed for a month, then he was home for about a month and has been gone for another three months. He doesn't spend all that much time with Cephas either. But as I was talking to him about just the ADHD, ODD, the meds and the current struggle, he made the mistake of telling me that Cephas doesn't have a disorder, that he's just twelve and developing his personality and such. This friend does not have children, does not work with children, rarely is even around children, much less any Spectrum children. Needless to say, we did not exactly see eye to eye about it and our discussion got heated and in the end, I unfriended him on Facebook. I told Bree about the conversation, as her son also has ADHD and ODD, although he's three years younger than Cephas is. But she understands what I'm going through with Cephas. And while she doesn't always understand completely what I'm going through with Jeriah, she's there and she's supportive and validates what it is that I'm feeling and going through with him. This other friend did the exact opposite. I also happened to be talking to Bree on Facebook and she was also getting riled up about this other friend's attitude.
This other friend gets home from his deployment tomorrow and I unfriended him tonight. Not exactly the best timing, but I was angry. Livid, really. I also wanted to talk to his wife tonight, before he gets home tomorrow, to let her know where I stood with her husband at this point in time. Let's just say, he really isn't scoring points with anyone at this point in time. His wife said that he was lucky this conversation took place while he is deployed and that it wasn't in front of her because she'd end up telling him a thing or two herself. I used to get along with him better than I did with her, but over the last few years, I have really lost a lot of respect for him. I hate to say that and to feel that way, but that's just the way that it is. I'm really grateful though, to have rediscovered such a good friend in his wife.
Okay, so this post was in large part an update and also a vent. Sometimes, it is so hard to balance all of this stress though. Thanks for reading through this. I'm exhausted and probably a little worked up yet. And to add to the stress, I also just found out today that Hubby is going to be back to work six to seven days each week. That is going to take yet another toll on me, because I'm going to lose him as a regular resource on Sundays. Wish me luck?
Jeriah is still doing an amazing job at school. He has adapted quite nicely to his school routine and to his work and expectations there. His grades at school are all at either meeting or exceeding district standards, which is amazing. At home, though, it's a different story. He has been really defiant and refuses to help out or cooperate or whatever. It's trying on a mama, let me tell you. There are some days and situations where my energy and abilities are long spent just a few hours after he wakes up. I need to schedule another appointment for him with our therapist. This mama needs some resources to deal with this very strong-willed child. He is amazingly smart and I adore him to pieces, but I'm at a point where I need some kind of resources and ideas for what to do now.
I had this same issue with Cephas at this age. It was so INCREDIBLY difficult because with Cephas, I had two younger children at this age, one of which was a baby. With Jeriah, I think it's almost worse though, because I also have Cephas at his current stage, which is taxing at this point, to say the least.
Cephas was diagnosed with ADHD last Spring ('12) and we didn't want to medicate initially. Plus, he had Midget Football, which took up a LOT of time and energy and everything else. It was something that was physically grueling for him and kept him busy enough that he was too exhausted on a regular basis to act out. And then football season ended. And then we started back in with some of the issues.
Two weeks ago, after about a month of really considering the options, we went ahead and met with someone in the psychology office who is in charge of prescribing medications. She put him on a low dose of one ADHD med for him to take that week. It's a short-acting medication and is only in his system for a very limited period of time. Then, the second week (this week), the dose was doubled and would last for twice as long. And it has done an AMAZING job for him at school. He has been able to focus and not even his best friend goofing around here and there has been much of a distraction issue while he is in school. But then, he gets home, the medication wears off and we have our hands FULL. I try to get him to do his chores and homework immediately after school while his meds are still possibly in effect, but if something comes up and we're delayed by an hour or so, the rest of the night is a complete struggle.
Anyhow, before I go into all of that, I should share about the visit that we had with his psychologist before we went to meet with the person in the office who makes the medication decisions. Anyhow, I was talking to the psychologist and told her that it often feels like in addition to his ADHD (which we have talked about and worked with at length) that it feels like he also has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and sometimes a touch of depression and with all of these things combined, it's like he has bi-polar or something.
She validated my feelings about all of that and showed my Cephas' graded assessments, in which his scores were 99.99% ADHD, 99.99% ODD, 99.99% Aggression (something or other) and I was like, Oh wow. Suddenly, it all seems to make sense. It's not just me losing my mind with this child (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong!)
So, we met with the other person and started him on this medication. We have a meeting with both women coming up this next week and I cannot wait! There's potential that we will end up giving Cephas the low-dose med after school to get him through the evening and we may end up needing to give him another one to help him sleep as well. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this, but I really and truly dislike medications, but we are at the point where there's little other choice. We cannot have him un-medicated right now. But part of the problem that we are having right now is a side effect from the med of restlessness and insomnia. He's always had sleep issues and now on top of that, he has a medication that makes him more prone to it. So, in addition to the medication wearing off around the same time that he gets home from school, he's also not sleeping well at night and he is excessively tired, yet restless at the same time. It seems to be a vicious cycle.
These past few days in particular have been extremely challenging. I think that there has been three days in a row now that have me at my wit's end. The first two days that he was on the stronger dose, we didn't really have any major issues. However, I do think that by the third day, the sleep issue was really starting to catch up with him. All I know for sure is that I cannot wait until next week to meet with both ladies. I don't know if they are going to change his med, add on to it for the evening hours, or give him a sleeping aid of some sort. I almost want to try for the sleep aid first and see if that helps with the evening hours and the restlessness and insomnia issue first. But I don't know what route would be best to go.
It seems that he functions best when he is over-scheduled. You know, there was a big thing about kids being too over-scheduled and how they don't have downtime in our society, etc for quite a while a few years back. But Cephas seems to thrive and function the best when he is constantly on the go. However, I can't do it. Even if I don't have to do all of it, I'm still the one that has to take him here, there and everywhere else and it wears me out.
Right now, we have him involved in Swim Club. (Koren is also in Swim Club, while Oralee and Jeriah are in swim lessons.) Swim Club is quite physically demanding. Koren was complaining that they pushed him too hard, but Cephas kept pace with it really well. He has to do Swim Club before he can do Swim Team. I cannot wait for him to do Swim Team. He needs that intensity. Right now, Swim Club is twice a week. After this session is over, I plan on keeping Koren in Club and putting Cephas on the Team. Hopefully that will help matters as well. Then, this Spring, Cephas will also be playing soccer, Koren will be playing flag football, Oralee will be playing volleyball and Jeriah will be in soccer as well. It's such a demanding sports schedule, but given the similarities between Cephas and Jeriah at Jeriah's current age, I think it may be very beneficial to keep him busy as well. I've also toyed with the idea of having the boys do gymnastics, as Koren wants to and so does Jeriah. Oralee wants to do dance classes.
Anyone else exhausted just thinking about this? Because I am just from typing it and trying to keep it all straight. If I am sparse in posting over the next few weeks, this is why. I'm just trying to keep up with my ASD kiddos.
I also got into a huge disagreement with one of my best friends tonight. This is someone who hasn't been around for just over six months because he was deployed for a month, then he was home for about a month and has been gone for another three months. He doesn't spend all that much time with Cephas either. But as I was talking to him about just the ADHD, ODD, the meds and the current struggle, he made the mistake of telling me that Cephas doesn't have a disorder, that he's just twelve and developing his personality and such. This friend does not have children, does not work with children, rarely is even around children, much less any Spectrum children. Needless to say, we did not exactly see eye to eye about it and our discussion got heated and in the end, I unfriended him on Facebook. I told Bree about the conversation, as her son also has ADHD and ODD, although he's three years younger than Cephas is. But she understands what I'm going through with Cephas. And while she doesn't always understand completely what I'm going through with Jeriah, she's there and she's supportive and validates what it is that I'm feeling and going through with him. This other friend did the exact opposite. I also happened to be talking to Bree on Facebook and she was also getting riled up about this other friend's attitude.
This other friend gets home from his deployment tomorrow and I unfriended him tonight. Not exactly the best timing, but I was angry. Livid, really. I also wanted to talk to his wife tonight, before he gets home tomorrow, to let her know where I stood with her husband at this point in time. Let's just say, he really isn't scoring points with anyone at this point in time. His wife said that he was lucky this conversation took place while he is deployed and that it wasn't in front of her because she'd end up telling him a thing or two herself. I used to get along with him better than I did with her, but over the last few years, I have really lost a lot of respect for him. I hate to say that and to feel that way, but that's just the way that it is. I'm really grateful though, to have rediscovered such a good friend in his wife.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Cold outside, chores inside.
I know some areas are worse, but man, oh man, is it ever cold outside this week. This past weekend was GORGEOUS! Fifty-five degrees and sunny and today it was bitterly cold, overcast and windy. Okay, in all reality, our high for the day was 16 degrees and our highest windchill temp I do believe got up to around -5 degrees. But brrr!
All the super cold means that we have been spending a lot of time indoors. Doing a lot of planning and chore work. Which means that right now is a great time to show-and-tell our current chore system here.
I have four children. Each child has an age in years. Each child is expected to do the same number of chores in living areas of the home as they are old. If all of these chores are done each and every day without fail, said child receives a dollar amount equal to their age once a month. What this ends up working out to being is 3.5 cents per chore. I wanted something that would give the kids money but not be something that would break our budget either.
So here is how it works for Cephas (the child with the greatest age/number of chores/earning potential):
His room has to be clean in order for him to earn any stickers (the way we keep track of our chores) for chores. A clean room means that his bed is neat and tidy, under his bed is free of debris, his dresser, desk and bookshelf are all neat and tidy, the closet is neat and tidy with all items on hangers or in the canvas bins that we use for underclothes. This may sound like a normal thing to the rest of you, but to my twelve year old and his apparent lack of ability to see mess, it is something that has o be clearly defined.
Now for his chores. Currently, at his request, he has the living room. Once again, it may seem silly that we have such a specific list for him, but quite honestly, he needs to have completely clear expectations. His chores are: (1) clear the bookshelf of anything that doesn't belong on there, (2) clear the TV stand of anything that doesn't belong on there and make it look neat, (3) clear off the cedar chest, (4) clear off the couch, (5) clear under couch cushions, (6) make sure the area under the couch is clear, (7) hang up all the coats and backpacks neatly, (8) make sure all shoes are put on racks or in the shoe baskets, (9) clear off entry table of all non-essential items, (10) pick up floor area in TV area, making sure to check the perimeter area of the floor, (11) pick up floor area in the entry/shoe area, (12) clear off mom's side table.
All are super quick things to do, especially if he does it daily. If he doesn't do it daily, then it builds up and he has to work harder and longer to get it all done. He only earns one sticker per item each day and only if he keeps the chore items up throughout the day. He does have he ability to ask a sibling or a parent to pick up their item if he sees them leaving an item in an area that he is responsible for keeping tidy. He has to do it with respect though. He will get twelve stickers for doing these very basic routine pick up jobs in this one room. The other kids have similarly specific chore items to do in other rooms. This is a system that works for us.
On the wall in our hallway, I have a row of their current school pictures. Under this row of pictures, I have a string that is threaded through 8 mini clothespins that I got from Walmart. Two clothespins for each child hold a sheet of 8x11 printer paper on which we put their stickers. At night, after they go to bed, we place sticker strips with their accumulated stickers from the day in one of their clothespins. Then, once a month, we pay out for their stickers. They can keep the sheet or toss it. The boys generally toss theirs, while Oralee keeps her sheets and hangs them on her wall in her bedroom. Once paid, they get new sheets for the month.
I do allow the kids to do extra work and award extra stickers. For instance, if Cephas or Koren decide to do a load of laundry, it usually nets them 3 stickers (unloading the dryer and bringing the load to my bed or to the couch, transferring the laundry from washer to dryer, reloading the washer). They know all the little parts that need to be done each time. Sorting the load to make sure they are washing like items, using the right amount and temperature of water, cleaning the lint trap of the dryer, etc. etc. Last weekend, they worked together and did six loads of laundry. They worked together on it and I had no issues (because of how well they were working together, cooperating and showing initiative - I didn't say anything to them at all about doing laundry) of giving them each the same number of stickers that I would have given them if they did the work solo. My reasoning? Their joint work ethic. I wanted to reward that as well. And to show them that if they work together nicely, they can get the job done quickly and easily and reap even more benefits than working solo. Their additional benefit was half the workload, same amount of stickers and more time to spend doing what they wanted to do.
Cephas and Koren have been incredibly helpful around the house this week. They have helped me clean Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom, did probably 9 loads of laundry, Cephas cleaned his and Koren's bedroom, and helped me with some laundry work in my room. To be honest, my bedroom most often resembles a clothing store explosion. They earned A LOT of extra stickers for going so far above and beyond this week. The only thing that I actually asked them to do was offering them the opportunity to earn stickers for Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom. Bedroom chores are NOT generally worth any stickers. But if your bedroom chores are not done, you can earn stickers, but you may not collect them, if that makes sense at all.
Okay, so this is what our hallway looks like right now. I will be paying out for their stickers later today as it is the first day of the month.
This is Koren's chart. He has currently earned nearly $5.00 for two weeks worth of work. We had the same concept before, but the stickers were on a different chart (10-strips).
This here is Cephas' chart. He also has been working for about two weeks, and he has currently earned nearly $6.00.
This is Oralee's chart. She prefers her stickers to be placed on there at random. She has earned a little over a dollar and a half.
Jeriah's chart has the least amount of stickers, as he is the youngest and currently the most resistant to doing chores. He has earned just cents shy of a dollar.
I love this system! I love the fact that the kids' chores are so specific that there isn't any doubt that they know exactly what is expected of them. They know what each area is supposed to look like when it is done. It is great! They know what to do and how to do it. Also, I had mentioned that they can earn extra stickers for doing extra chores, if they choose, but their prerequisite for that is that their chore rooms have to be done and their bedrooms have to be clean. It has been a beautiful little arrangement.
Oh, and we are also about to institute a dinner chore wheel, where everyone has a roll to play in the dinner prep or clean up. Those mini-chores are not for stickers, but as part of being a family and learning to be a responsible member of the family. The dinner chores include: unload the dishwasher, clear off the table for dinner, help prepare the actual meal, set the table with dishes, help bring the food to the table, help clear the table of the extra food (everyone is responsible for getting their own place setting scraped off and to the sink), rinsing dishes, load the dishwasher, wipe down the table and chairs, wipe down the counters and stove, sweep kitchen and dining room floors, take out the trash. If everyone chips in and does even two items, the work will fly right by and we will have more time to spend doing whatever we want in the evening.
I think it is a great and wonderful plan and cannot wait to implement it later today as well. I love our chore system and how well it works for us. Maybe something in it will help you, maybe it won't. But I thought I'd share it because it is a system that we have been using for quite awhile now and it just works so well for us.
All the super cold means that we have been spending a lot of time indoors. Doing a lot of planning and chore work. Which means that right now is a great time to show-and-tell our current chore system here.
I have four children. Each child has an age in years. Each child is expected to do the same number of chores in living areas of the home as they are old. If all of these chores are done each and every day without fail, said child receives a dollar amount equal to their age once a month. What this ends up working out to being is 3.5 cents per chore. I wanted something that would give the kids money but not be something that would break our budget either.
So here is how it works for Cephas (the child with the greatest age/number of chores/earning potential):
His room has to be clean in order for him to earn any stickers (the way we keep track of our chores) for chores. A clean room means that his bed is neat and tidy, under his bed is free of debris, his dresser, desk and bookshelf are all neat and tidy, the closet is neat and tidy with all items on hangers or in the canvas bins that we use for underclothes. This may sound like a normal thing to the rest of you, but to my twelve year old and his apparent lack of ability to see mess, it is something that has o be clearly defined.
Now for his chores. Currently, at his request, he has the living room. Once again, it may seem silly that we have such a specific list for him, but quite honestly, he needs to have completely clear expectations. His chores are: (1) clear the bookshelf of anything that doesn't belong on there, (2) clear the TV stand of anything that doesn't belong on there and make it look neat, (3) clear off the cedar chest, (4) clear off the couch, (5) clear under couch cushions, (6) make sure the area under the couch is clear, (7) hang up all the coats and backpacks neatly, (8) make sure all shoes are put on racks or in the shoe baskets, (9) clear off entry table of all non-essential items, (10) pick up floor area in TV area, making sure to check the perimeter area of the floor, (11) pick up floor area in the entry/shoe area, (12) clear off mom's side table.
All are super quick things to do, especially if he does it daily. If he doesn't do it daily, then it builds up and he has to work harder and longer to get it all done. He only earns one sticker per item each day and only if he keeps the chore items up throughout the day. He does have he ability to ask a sibling or a parent to pick up their item if he sees them leaving an item in an area that he is responsible for keeping tidy. He has to do it with respect though. He will get twelve stickers for doing these very basic routine pick up jobs in this one room. The other kids have similarly specific chore items to do in other rooms. This is a system that works for us.
On the wall in our hallway, I have a row of their current school pictures. Under this row of pictures, I have a string that is threaded through 8 mini clothespins that I got from Walmart. Two clothespins for each child hold a sheet of 8x11 printer paper on which we put their stickers. At night, after they go to bed, we place sticker strips with their accumulated stickers from the day in one of their clothespins. Then, once a month, we pay out for their stickers. They can keep the sheet or toss it. The boys generally toss theirs, while Oralee keeps her sheets and hangs them on her wall in her bedroom. Once paid, they get new sheets for the month.
I do allow the kids to do extra work and award extra stickers. For instance, if Cephas or Koren decide to do a load of laundry, it usually nets them 3 stickers (unloading the dryer and bringing the load to my bed or to the couch, transferring the laundry from washer to dryer, reloading the washer). They know all the little parts that need to be done each time. Sorting the load to make sure they are washing like items, using the right amount and temperature of water, cleaning the lint trap of the dryer, etc. etc. Last weekend, they worked together and did six loads of laundry. They worked together on it and I had no issues (because of how well they were working together, cooperating and showing initiative - I didn't say anything to them at all about doing laundry) of giving them each the same number of stickers that I would have given them if they did the work solo. My reasoning? Their joint work ethic. I wanted to reward that as well. And to show them that if they work together nicely, they can get the job done quickly and easily and reap even more benefits than working solo. Their additional benefit was half the workload, same amount of stickers and more time to spend doing what they wanted to do.
Cephas and Koren have been incredibly helpful around the house this week. They have helped me clean Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom, did probably 9 loads of laundry, Cephas cleaned his and Koren's bedroom, and helped me with some laundry work in my room. To be honest, my bedroom most often resembles a clothing store explosion. They earned A LOT of extra stickers for going so far above and beyond this week. The only thing that I actually asked them to do was offering them the opportunity to earn stickers for Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom. Bedroom chores are NOT generally worth any stickers. But if your bedroom chores are not done, you can earn stickers, but you may not collect them, if that makes sense at all.
Okay, so this is what our hallway looks like right now. I will be paying out for their stickers later today as it is the first day of the month.
This is Koren's chart. He has currently earned nearly $5.00 for two weeks worth of work. We had the same concept before, but the stickers were on a different chart (10-strips).
This here is Cephas' chart. He also has been working for about two weeks, and he has currently earned nearly $6.00.
This is Oralee's chart. She prefers her stickers to be placed on there at random. She has earned a little over a dollar and a half.
Jeriah's chart has the least amount of stickers, as he is the youngest and currently the most resistant to doing chores. He has earned just cents shy of a dollar.
I love this system! I love the fact that the kids' chores are so specific that there isn't any doubt that they know exactly what is expected of them. They know what each area is supposed to look like when it is done. It is great! They know what to do and how to do it. Also, I had mentioned that they can earn extra stickers for doing extra chores, if they choose, but their prerequisite for that is that their chore rooms have to be done and their bedrooms have to be clean. It has been a beautiful little arrangement.
Oh, and we are also about to institute a dinner chore wheel, where everyone has a roll to play in the dinner prep or clean up. Those mini-chores are not for stickers, but as part of being a family and learning to be a responsible member of the family. The dinner chores include: unload the dishwasher, clear off the table for dinner, help prepare the actual meal, set the table with dishes, help bring the food to the table, help clear the table of the extra food (everyone is responsible for getting their own place setting scraped off and to the sink), rinsing dishes, load the dishwasher, wipe down the table and chairs, wipe down the counters and stove, sweep kitchen and dining room floors, take out the trash. If everyone chips in and does even two items, the work will fly right by and we will have more time to spend doing whatever we want in the evening.
I think it is a great and wonderful plan and cannot wait to implement it later today as well. I love our chore system and how well it works for us. Maybe something in it will help you, maybe it won't. But I thought I'd share it because it is a system that we have been using for quite awhile now and it just works so well for us.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Sickliness
This week has been a week for the sickies. I got sick early on in the week, to the extent that had my Nursery co-leader already planned on not being at church, I would have stayed home. But, as it was the first day for Cephas to pass Sacrament and that my co-leader was absent, I decided that it would be best for me to push through and teach last Sunday. It was a great experience! I even met someone that is new(ish) to our ward, because our Nursery Presidency took pity on me with the babies and went to the Relief Society Presidency and asked them to offer a Sister from there to help me the third hour.
Then I came home and was sick, sick, sick on the couch for the next day and a half or so. I didn't really get to feeling bad until after church on Sunday, so I'm praying that I didn't pass anything on. It was like a really bad cold, to the point that I thought maybe I had bronchitis. As it turns out, I didn't have bronchitis, but man, it was horrible!
It hit hard for a good two days, but by Wednesday, I was at work (Monday was a holiday - no school or work on that day for us!) and by Thursday, I had three kids home sick. I sent them all to school on Friday, as I was subbing for someone else that day and Hubby was working as well. Plus, they seemed like they were well enough to be at school that day. We also skipped out on Scouts on Thursday night, even though it was the Pinewood Derby, because I just wasn't feeling well enough to do that.
On Friday, my mother-in-law took the kids overnight and I guess Jeriah had a rough time over there. He was just so miserable with his sinuses. My mother-in-law was worried that he had strep throat because Koren had that about a week and a half ago, but I assured her that he didn't have it. It was just a severe cold/sinus issue.
On Saturday, I worked on the house all morning long. I have had piles and piles and piles of clean laundry sitting in my room needing to be taken care of. I sorted through the clothes that I was working on and from that portion, I found 2 1/2 bags worth of clothes to donate. I reduced my clothing to sale/give away or consign to just one single tote and either folded or hung the rest. However, I didn't put it away. I was so excited because short of actually finishing the job on the portion of clothes that I had worked through, I felt like I had really accomplished a lot. Don't look in my closet at the six baskets waiting to be folded or hung in there. I sorted but didn't mate the socks and I sorted out the under clothes, but didn't do anything with them, other than put them all in their own basket.
My older boys (Cephas and Koren) worked really hard doing extra stuff here around the house, freeing me up some to take care of Jeriah and to do my own work that Ineed to get done won't let them do.
Saturday night, Jeriah had another rough night as this cold has really been hitting him hard. But we all got a decent night of sleep. I had forgotten that Hubby had to go to work in the morning for a meeting, so we ended up staying home from church today, which was just as well, being that Jeriah STILL hasn't been feeling 100% yet. And let me tell you, an autistic child during church services can already be a handful, an autistic child who sometimes still naps during church services can be even more of a handful. But an autistic child who sometimes still naps AND is sick? During church services? Forget about it. Often times, with Jeriah, I am exhausted by the time I hit the Nursery after Sacrament Meeting and I still have two hours to go! Add to it that I'm still not 100% myself and yeah, it's just out of my capability right now.
However, due to the fact that we stayed home, the older boys helped me out immensely today. They did their regular chores, then they did a little bit extra around the house, helped me out by cleaning up Oralee and Jeriah's room so that I could go in there, sort through and organize their toys and build them their toy storage and get it all set up and arranged and everything. Then, just because they wanted to be extra helpful, they did like six loads of laundry. Which means that I now have six.more.loads.of.laundry.to.fold. On top of the six baskets still in my closet. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely grateful for the help. But I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the laundry situation. And yes, I know that we have too many clothes. I'm working on it. Truly, I am! The last round of laundry that I did, I got rid of nearly a third of the clothes that I went through. I figure if I can get rid of a third of the clothes each time I'm doing laundry this next month, we'll be down to a reasonable, doable amount of clothes. Koren doesn't really need 20 pairs of pants (jeans/windpants/slacks/etc), Oralee really doesn't need 50+ pairs of bottoms either (leggings, skirts, skorts, capris, jeans, etc.) And for the most part, all of her pieces are interchangable, so it really isn't necessary for her to have all of that. It's just not.
And just now as I am typing this, Koren came rushing out of his room to the bathroom due to an upset stomach and he didn't make it. Glad that Hubby is home tomorrow to take care of sick kids, since I have to work. Poor kiddos. Poor Hubby!
Then I came home and was sick, sick, sick on the couch for the next day and a half or so. I didn't really get to feeling bad until after church on Sunday, so I'm praying that I didn't pass anything on. It was like a really bad cold, to the point that I thought maybe I had bronchitis. As it turns out, I didn't have bronchitis, but man, it was horrible!
It hit hard for a good two days, but by Wednesday, I was at work (Monday was a holiday - no school or work on that day for us!) and by Thursday, I had three kids home sick. I sent them all to school on Friday, as I was subbing for someone else that day and Hubby was working as well. Plus, they seemed like they were well enough to be at school that day. We also skipped out on Scouts on Thursday night, even though it was the Pinewood Derby, because I just wasn't feeling well enough to do that.
On Friday, my mother-in-law took the kids overnight and I guess Jeriah had a rough time over there. He was just so miserable with his sinuses. My mother-in-law was worried that he had strep throat because Koren had that about a week and a half ago, but I assured her that he didn't have it. It was just a severe cold/sinus issue.
On Saturday, I worked on the house all morning long. I have had piles and piles and piles of clean laundry sitting in my room needing to be taken care of. I sorted through the clothes that I was working on and from that portion, I found 2 1/2 bags worth of clothes to donate. I reduced my clothing to sale/give away or consign to just one single tote and either folded or hung the rest. However, I didn't put it away. I was so excited because short of actually finishing the job on the portion of clothes that I had worked through, I felt like I had really accomplished a lot. Don't look in my closet at the six baskets waiting to be folded or hung in there. I sorted but didn't mate the socks and I sorted out the under clothes, but didn't do anything with them, other than put them all in their own basket.
My older boys (Cephas and Koren) worked really hard doing extra stuff here around the house, freeing me up some to take care of Jeriah and to do my own work that I
Saturday night, Jeriah had another rough night as this cold has really been hitting him hard. But we all got a decent night of sleep. I had forgotten that Hubby had to go to work in the morning for a meeting, so we ended up staying home from church today, which was just as well, being that Jeriah STILL hasn't been feeling 100% yet. And let me tell you, an autistic child during church services can already be a handful, an autistic child who sometimes still naps during church services can be even more of a handful. But an autistic child who sometimes still naps AND is sick? During church services? Forget about it. Often times, with Jeriah, I am exhausted by the time I hit the Nursery after Sacrament Meeting and I still have two hours to go! Add to it that I'm still not 100% myself and yeah, it's just out of my capability right now.
However, due to the fact that we stayed home, the older boys helped me out immensely today. They did their regular chores, then they did a little bit extra around the house, helped me out by cleaning up Oralee and Jeriah's room so that I could go in there, sort through and organize their toys and build them their toy storage and get it all set up and arranged and everything. Then, just because they wanted to be extra helpful, they did like six loads of laundry. Which means that I now have six.more.loads.of.laundry.to.fold. On top of the six baskets still in my closet. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely grateful for the help. But I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the laundry situation. And yes, I know that we have too many clothes. I'm working on it. Truly, I am! The last round of laundry that I did, I got rid of nearly a third of the clothes that I went through. I figure if I can get rid of a third of the clothes each time I'm doing laundry this next month, we'll be down to a reasonable, doable amount of clothes. Koren doesn't really need 20 pairs of pants (jeans/windpants/slacks/etc), Oralee really doesn't need 50+ pairs of bottoms either (leggings, skirts, skorts, capris, jeans, etc.) And for the most part, all of her pieces are interchangable, so it really isn't necessary for her to have all of that. It's just not.
And just now as I am typing this, Koren came rushing out of his room to the bathroom due to an upset stomach and he didn't make it. Glad that Hubby is home tomorrow to take care of sick kids, since I have to work. Poor kiddos. Poor Hubby!
Monday, December 31, 2012
Happy New Year
Yet again, another unintended hiatus from blogging. You know, I plan to blog regularly and I do really well with it for awhile and then something comes up and I miss a day. Or two. Or a week. And the longer that I break from it, the harder it is for me to come back from it. I wait for the perfect project or the right theme to come back to or whatever. And that frustrates me. I don't need a theme or a project to blog. I just need to take a few minutes whenever I want to and just sit down and write something. Funny, I shouldn't have to give myself permission to skip a day without feeling guilty. Yet, that's the way that I feel. I'll work on it though. :)
Well, I have lots to tell you all about to catch you up with life as we know it. Cephas is now a full-ranked Boy Scout. He has had his Court of Honor and received his ranks and is ready to begin working on his Merit Badges. Way to go Cephas! He has also developed a major passion for photography, film-making, production and videos.
Koren's birthday was October 6th (the day AFTER my last post here) and my brother-in-law married his fiancee that day. They had an absolutely beautiful wedding and a great reception - during which all the guests sang Happy Birthday to Koren. He also received his own personal birthday cake (made by the caterer). It was wonderful! He was embarrassed but he loved the attention too. And sweet boy that he is, he maintained that the best birthday gift this year was his newly acquired Aunt.
Oralee. Wow, she was all sassy and spice the last time I blogged about her and she has now settled down quite a bit into a very sweet and mostly compliant, helpful and caring person. She has also gone very girly girl in a not-so-little girl way. Not that she's six going on sixteen or anything like that. But she's honing in on her own personality more and her own sense of style. She prefers her hair long and curly (and she has very straight hair!) and she prefers leggings and wearing long layers that can mix and match to the little girl cutesie matching outfits. I hope that makes sense. She's just so much older in some ways than she was just a few months ago.
And then there is Jeriah. He is excelling wonderfully at school. It is just amazing how much he has changed and how far he has gone academically. No matter how much we questioned whether we were doing the right thing with him in regards to enrolling him in Kindergarten a year early, I am absolutely certain that we made the best choice for him. He loves it! He's reading on a mid-first grade level or maybe slightly higher. His math skills are around the same level. He has even done his sister's homework for her. (I thought it was an extra, skipped over on purpose lesson from school but apparently, it was Oralee's current homework assignment and she was VERY offended that Jeriah had done her homework!) His social skills are coming along quite nicely as well. We have all noticed some instances of him "scripting" some behaviors of other children. But as long as we can nip that one in the bud, we should be fine. Thankfully, he has an amazingly wonderful teacher and he'd had an amazing practicum student from the university working with him as well (she is gone now, though, and he misses her.)
Hubby's job is going well and all that. I'm still babysitting for his co-workers, although not nearly as frequently as I had been. Angel's mom and dad have gotten back together and now her dad is working at the same place as Angel's mom. Their schedules are mostly opposite, so they haven't needed me to babysit and the best part is that Angel spends her time with at least one of her parents.
I have an interview set up to meet with someone about taking care of her son part-time in her home while she is working. It's a great set-up. She lives close to me, the hours she needs me are while my children are in school and she has another provider as well for the opposite days who is able to be flexible and switch with me for days that my kids don't have school. I'm excited to meet both the mom and her son later this week. Hopefully, it's as good of a fit as it seems to have been so far via messages and such.
But for the most part, I'm really digging this stay-at-home mom thing. I'm getting better about keeping up with all of the daily tasks. The biggest thing has been consistency with the kids' chores and bedrooms and for me doing my daily and weekly tasks. I still struggle (constantly!) with laundry, but I'm pretty sure that I can overcome that issue soon.
I also had a huge lightbulb moment the other day while looking at some newly-acquired cookbooks to have the family sit down together once a month - most likely the last Monday of the month - to have each person look through and pick out at least two main dishes and two side dishes and one dessert to try out that month. I figure that would provide us with at least twelve full meals, so that would also alleviate the pain of trying to menu plan. Plus, if it is something that they pick out and choose for the family to eat, the kids are going to be more willing to try new foods and new recipes. Then, at the end of the new meal, we'll determine if we liked the recipe. If it was a hit, it will get written into my recipe book that contains all of our favorite recipes. If it wasn't so hot, I'll put a sticky note in the book that we tried it, when we tried it and note who didn't like it. Or something like that. Because our kids' tastes change so quickly, six months down the road, whatever ingredient they didn't like in the dish may be something that they now just LOVE. For instance, in the past few months, Jeriah has decided that he doesn't like ketchup, but that he loves mustard. A lot. His cheeseburgers? Mustard only. 100% of the time. No ketchup, no pickles, no onion. Just mustard only.
Okay, well that was a really random hodgepodge post about nothing and everything all at once. But hopefully, I'll get back to a more rhythmic timing on my posts. Until next time!
Well, I have lots to tell you all about to catch you up with life as we know it. Cephas is now a full-ranked Boy Scout. He has had his Court of Honor and received his ranks and is ready to begin working on his Merit Badges. Way to go Cephas! He has also developed a major passion for photography, film-making, production and videos.
Koren's birthday was October 6th (the day AFTER my last post here) and my brother-in-law married his fiancee that day. They had an absolutely beautiful wedding and a great reception - during which all the guests sang Happy Birthday to Koren. He also received his own personal birthday cake (made by the caterer). It was wonderful! He was embarrassed but he loved the attention too. And sweet boy that he is, he maintained that the best birthday gift this year was his newly acquired Aunt.
Oralee. Wow, she was all sassy and spice the last time I blogged about her and she has now settled down quite a bit into a very sweet and mostly compliant, helpful and caring person. She has also gone very girly girl in a not-so-little girl way. Not that she's six going on sixteen or anything like that. But she's honing in on her own personality more and her own sense of style. She prefers her hair long and curly (and she has very straight hair!) and she prefers leggings and wearing long layers that can mix and match to the little girl cutesie matching outfits. I hope that makes sense. She's just so much older in some ways than she was just a few months ago.
And then there is Jeriah. He is excelling wonderfully at school. It is just amazing how much he has changed and how far he has gone academically. No matter how much we questioned whether we were doing the right thing with him in regards to enrolling him in Kindergarten a year early, I am absolutely certain that we made the best choice for him. He loves it! He's reading on a mid-first grade level or maybe slightly higher. His math skills are around the same level. He has even done his sister's homework for her. (I thought it was an extra, skipped over on purpose lesson from school but apparently, it was Oralee's current homework assignment and she was VERY offended that Jeriah had done her homework!) His social skills are coming along quite nicely as well. We have all noticed some instances of him "scripting" some behaviors of other children. But as long as we can nip that one in the bud, we should be fine. Thankfully, he has an amazingly wonderful teacher and he'd had an amazing practicum student from the university working with him as well (she is gone now, though, and he misses her.)
Hubby's job is going well and all that. I'm still babysitting for his co-workers, although not nearly as frequently as I had been. Angel's mom and dad have gotten back together and now her dad is working at the same place as Angel's mom. Their schedules are mostly opposite, so they haven't needed me to babysit and the best part is that Angel spends her time with at least one of her parents.
I have an interview set up to meet with someone about taking care of her son part-time in her home while she is working. It's a great set-up. She lives close to me, the hours she needs me are while my children are in school and she has another provider as well for the opposite days who is able to be flexible and switch with me for days that my kids don't have school. I'm excited to meet both the mom and her son later this week. Hopefully, it's as good of a fit as it seems to have been so far via messages and such.
But for the most part, I'm really digging this stay-at-home mom thing. I'm getting better about keeping up with all of the daily tasks. The biggest thing has been consistency with the kids' chores and bedrooms and for me doing my daily and weekly tasks. I still struggle (constantly!) with laundry, but I'm pretty sure that I can overcome that issue soon.
I also had a huge lightbulb moment the other day while looking at some newly-acquired cookbooks to have the family sit down together once a month - most likely the last Monday of the month - to have each person look through and pick out at least two main dishes and two side dishes and one dessert to try out that month. I figure that would provide us with at least twelve full meals, so that would also alleviate the pain of trying to menu plan. Plus, if it is something that they pick out and choose for the family to eat, the kids are going to be more willing to try new foods and new recipes. Then, at the end of the new meal, we'll determine if we liked the recipe. If it was a hit, it will get written into my recipe book that contains all of our favorite recipes. If it wasn't so hot, I'll put a sticky note in the book that we tried it, when we tried it and note who didn't like it. Or something like that. Because our kids' tastes change so quickly, six months down the road, whatever ingredient they didn't like in the dish may be something that they now just LOVE. For instance, in the past few months, Jeriah has decided that he doesn't like ketchup, but that he loves mustard. A lot. His cheeseburgers? Mustard only. 100% of the time. No ketchup, no pickles, no onion. Just mustard only.
Okay, well that was a really random hodgepodge post about nothing and everything all at once. But hopefully, I'll get back to a more rhythmic timing on my posts. Until next time!
Monday, October 1, 2012
31 Days...Day 1...Budgets
The theme behind my 31 Days of... posts will be "31 Days of Homemaking". It will be 31 posts about anything related to homemaking, you know, making a home. Whether it has to do with parenting, housework, organization, crafts, whatever. As long as it falls under the definition of making a home, it counts.
Day 1 -
Today is Monday, October 1st, 2012. First of all, today is Jeriah's fifth birthday. Happy Birthday, Jeriah! Secondly, today's topic will be "Budgets," as it is an area of our lives that I have been working hard on.
I am going to share more on this subject than I have ever planned to share online about such a private matter, but here goes.
Our monthly income is $2641.00.
This is how we break our income down:
2641.00
-765.00 food
1876.00
- 500.00 savings
1376.00
- 240.00 fuel
1136.00
- 335.00 lot rent
801.00
- 200.00 electric
601.00
- 200.00 cable/internet/home phone
401.00
- 125.00 phone
276.00
- 125.00 student loans
151.00
- 60.00 household supplies
91.00
- 30.00 gym membership
61.00
- 10.00 netflix account
51.00
Now, you may notice that I have taken this line by line through our budget. But there are a few notes I want to add in about.
Our food budget is high. We have six people in our family and the budgeted amount is based off of "Official USDA Food Plans: Cost of Food at Home at Four Levels, U.S. Average, August 2012" guidelines using the thrifty plan. While those guidelines put us at an average of 915.30 for our family of six, our budget is $150.00 less than that. I still think that $765.00 seems like quite a bit as well, but we just carry over the food budget from month to month for when the price of food increases (last year from flooding, this year from drought, so on and so forth). We also have additional people that eat with us as well. In a typical week, we have at least 11 meals shared with at least one more person, but most often, it is more meals and more people.
Next up, is our savings plan of $500.00 per month. This is a recent addition to our budget. I think this is a nice even amount to deduct each month. We have it divided up though. Part of it (40%) is long-term savings, part of it (20%) is short-term savings (for big ticket items), part of it (20%) is savings for gifts and such, and another part of it (20%) is for unexpected expenses or infrequent expenses (insurance premiums, home repairs, car repairs and maintenance, etc.)
We both have vehicles (paid off) and our only monthly fee for those are for our fuel. I based our fuel cost on roughly $4.00/gallon. Lately, it has been closer to $3.75/gallon so we are keeping the excess reserved for those times when the price may increase to more than $4.00/gallon. We roll the excess allotment over from month to month, when there is one and we use the excess when we take road trips to visit family or friends here and there throughout the year. If we accumulate a fair amount of money in this area, we will use it toward a down payment on a newer vehicle when we need one.
Our home is paid for free and clear. The only housing payment we have is for the land our home sits on, which runs us a mere $335.00 per month, which I think is pretty reasonable.
I over-budget for our electric bill as well. We roll this amount over from month to month as well. When we have enough excess in this area, we will use it for things like new windows, new appliances, new HVAC unit, etc. to help with our energy efficiency. I'd love to use it for solar panels, but not sure if that is realistic.)
Our cable bill is also over-budgeted. We do have basic cable, digital cable, DVR service, internet service with a faster download speed and home phone. And even with all of that, our budgeted amount is still almost double what our actual bill is. I really have no plans for the excess amount in this area, unlike the other areas, but it's nice to know that it is there. I suppose that amount would eventually be used toward the purchase of new electronics (TV, computer, audio, etc.)
Our cell phones (two of them - both smartphones) run $125.00 a month, with no contract and unlimited everything. We love our plan!
Student loans. What can I say? Blech.
Household supplies is a small portion of my monthly budget because we really don't spend all that much on this department. I buy in bulk as needed and usually, I don't have to replace big bulk items all at once. Some of our household supplies come out of our grocery budget (things like baking soda and vinegar) and I can get many personal care items for free or next to nothing by watching the sales and the coupons and pairing them up together.
Our gym membership is SO worth it to me. Between the activities for the kids, the fitness and activities for us, the free childcare, etc, it has well proven it's value far beyond the cost.
We have a netflix account. This has been a lifesaver! We stream mostly through our Wii or our computers. I love being able to go in and watch complete seasons of TV shows. Tonight, we used it for a show that we don't have recorded on DVR to settle down a toddler that was going to be staying the night here for the first time. It worked very nicely!
And that leaves us with just a small amount unaccounted for. Hubby and I use that amount for our rare date night dinners out or things like that.
I think the key to budgeting is to get an idea of what and where you spend your money each month, by tracking it for a few months and then make your decisions based off of that. You can see where you need to trim your budget and where you should just cut things out of it.
I also make a small, varying amount of money each month, but since it varies, I don't factor this in to our budget and just stick it into savings or use it for extra things that the kids need or that we want but don't want to take it out of our regular budget, etc.
The hardest part of a budget isn't really so much of coming up with it or setting it, it's sticking to the budget that is really hard. I don't have any real tips for that. I still feel like I get to shop quite often, but I tend to really watch for sales, buy used from other people (which saves money and reduces waste) and once you get started trying to save as much as possible, it becomes almost like a challenge, trying to save more and more each month. I love it!
If you have any questions about my budget or about making or setting your own budget, feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to help you out as well.
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Follow-Up Post
to the Super Busy-ness post that I wrote the other day. Gail and I were talking in the comments section of that post about the whole school situation with Jeriah and I had typed up a VERY lengthy response to her and then Jeriah bumped the laptop, my thumb hit something and it went "kapoof" because "poof" doesn't adequately convey my feelings about losing such a lengthy reply.
So I told her that I would type it up again as a blog post since it was sufficiently long enough to be a post in itself! So here goes!
Gail said (and I quote): "Wow. You have a lot on your plate. I pray that the Lord gives you direction. To go from an IEP into a neurotypical classroom is a big deal. To deal with a possible diagnosis of Aspberger's can be either devastating or a relief. Bless you in your journey!"
It is a big thing to go from an IEP to a neurotypical classroom. A very big deal indeed! There are some major factors to consider both for and against having him enroll in Kindergarten this fall.
Against:
Now, as to the part I mentioned above about regretting a child not starting early. I regret not having Cephas tested to enter Kindergarten at four. I just didn't know it was an option. When he started Academy (the K4 class at his private preschool), he was on the same academic level as most beginning Kindergartners. He was beginning to read, knew his numbers, shapes, colors. He had already had a year of preschool at age three, so he was used to work time, lining up, following rules, cooperating with others, separation from family during the day, etc.
But we didn't. We enrolled him in Academy because he was four and a child had to be five by October 15th to enroll in Kindergarten. Cephas wouldn't turn five until January. All was fine and dandy that whole year.
Then he enrolled in Kindergarten. And by the beginning of the Kindergarten year, he was reading on a first grade level, he had figured out not only addition and subtraction, but had mastered multiplication by 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's by simply playing with the numbers in his mind.
We were riding in the car one day and he told me, "Mom! If you have two and then you have two more, then it's four and then two more is six. Then eight and then ten." And I told him that yes, he was right. He thought about it a little bit and then said, "So, if I have two of something and you have two of something and Koren has two of something and Grandma has two and Grandpa has two, then that makes ten!" Again, I confirmed he was correct and told him, "That's right. If there are five people who each have a set of two items, that makes ten items total." He thought about that a little bit longer and then applied the same concept to three items, then to four items, then to five items, so on and so forth until he was satisfied with his new knowledge.
Then he began skip-counting by two until he reached one hundred. Then he did it by threes, then by fours and then by fives. So before my son had ever even started Kindergarten, he knew 1x1 up to 1x100, 2x1 up to 2x50, 3x1 up to 3x34 (because 3x33 didn't get to 100 and he wanted to get to 100), 4x1 up to 4x25, and 5x1 up to 5x20. He KNEW it, had it memorized.
So he was advanced. By a lot. I tried to inform his teacher but got the "Oh, every parent thinks their child is the smartest child in the world" attitude about it. So I decided to let her discover it for herself. She quickly did. But she didn't do anything to try to help him keep advancing. Kindergarten is a leveling grade. The kids who need to catch up to grade level are the ones that get the most effort put into them. The ones that already know the information get to help the teachers and be a good peer model.
By the end of Kindergarten, Cephas was wholly unchallenged and had grown bored with the whole process. He didn't have to try at school and while we continued a process called "After Schooling" (advancing through activities and interests after school) he just didn't really care much for school. In the middle of first grade, the academics caught up to where he was, but he had already stopped trying in school. By the end of first grade, he was no longer even at grade level for reading. It was such a struggle to get him to try in school. From that point on, until this year (in fifth grade), he has not been reading at grade level. He is now thankfully.
But I really feel that all of this could have been avoided by simply having him tested to enter Kindergarten early. I really and truly believe that. And if there is a chance that I am right about it, why wouldn't I want to do the same for Jeriah? Therefore, the dilemma.
Cephas is the child that we think may end up with an Aspberger's Syndrome diagnosis. He has had an issue with social skills since Kindergarten but we have always been able to somewhat manage them. Now, that just really isn't the case anymore.
To have him diagnosed with Aspberger's would honestly be a huge relief. Then we would know that, yes, this is why he does this or that or whatever. And more importantly, he would know that was why as well. If not Aspberger's, then maybe we could just gain additional coping strategies for him and for us as well. It is devastating to him right now. He tries so hard but he has such a lack of impulse control (always has, actually) and just cannot seem to do/remember/follow through on a myriad of other things that his classmates seem to have no problem with.
On Friday, when I talked to Cephas' teacher and gave her the questionnaire from the behavioral psychologist's office, she took it with a smile and said, "I know exactly what this is and yes, I would be most happy to fill this out for you. When do you need it back?" That tells me something as well.
Well, that ended up being a bit more lengthy than my reply to Gail's comment but not by much. What do you think? What would you do if the decision about Jeriah's classroom next year was your decision to make? Don't worry, our decision is not based on your comment but maybe you have a viewpoint that we haven't considered.
So I told her that I would type it up again as a blog post since it was sufficiently long enough to be a post in itself! So here goes!
Gail said (and I quote): "Wow. You have a lot on your plate. I pray that the Lord gives you direction. To go from an IEP into a neurotypical classroom is a big deal. To deal with a possible diagnosis of Aspberger's can be either devastating or a relief. Bless you in your journey!"
It is a big thing to go from an IEP to a neurotypical classroom. A very big deal indeed! There are some major factors to consider both for and against having him enroll in Kindergarten this fall.
Against:
- He has his social challenges. He may not fit in well with the classroom's expectations of a nuerotypical student.
- By continuing to have him in Preschool as a peer model, he would have another year to develop those skills to behave more neurotypically, like the other students. (I think I made that word up.)
- Most parents (according to the Services Coordinator at the school) who start their kid earlier in school end up wishing that they had waited a year for their child to develop more socially. She has never heard a parent say that they wish they had started their child early. (I set her straight on that one. More about that following the "For:" section.)
- It's Full Day Kindergarten. He still naps nearly every day. On the way home from school on the bus.
- He would be one of the very youngest in the Kindergarten classroom.
- He is on grade level with the Kindergarten students where they are right now. If I wanted to drop him in Kindergarten, he has the academic knowledge to keep up with them right now.
- If we wait another year, he could well be at a mid-1st grade level when he starts Kindergarten. I am afraid that if he is too far ahead of the curriculum, he will be bored and more likely to have behavioral issues out of sheer boredom. It is very difficult to have a child placed in higher level material in our school system. Or as I like to say, "No Child Left Behind (and No Student Achieving Ahead of the Others)". Wrong? Maybe. But it is my opinion.
- There is no guarantee that he will develop those skills with another year of Preschool.
- He is a very regimented and routine child. I strongly believe that if he were to go into Kindergarten, he would learn the routine and the expectations and would thrive.
- He is my youngest child. Having him home in the mornings is one of the main reasons why I am not volunteering in the school during the morning hours. If he is at school, I am free to go into the school to help him during the day as well. I currently do that with other students in the afternoon in second grade. (I'm a volunteer "interventionist" for reading and math.)
- He would be one of the oldest in the Preschool classroom.
- I have practiced with him on the lunch room routine. My kids eat breakfast at school, so I started sticking around and letting Jeriah eat with the rest of them. Within a week's time (five days of practicing this routine once each day), he was capable of (on his own!) going into the lunch room, putting his coat on a chair, lining up (and having appropriate line behaviors), getting his milk, choosing what he wants for breakfast (in a timely manner), carrying his tray to the check-out lady, giving her his name so she could ring it in to his account, taking his tray over to another table to pick up a spoon, napkin and straw, then carrying his tray to the table where he placed his coat. Once at the table, he raises his hand for the teacher to come by and open his cereal for him (as do most of the current Kindergartners and even some first graders) and he can open his own milk container. He can pour his own milk on his cereal and then eat in the allotted time frame that they are given. He is able to take his tray up when he is finished, dump his milk and cereal bowl in the "wet" bucket, drop his silverware in the silverware bucket, dump his trash into the trash can and then take his empty tray over to the window. It seems like such a routine thing to go through a cafeteria line, but there are actually quite a few steps involved and for a neuroatypical child, remembering all of those steps and being able to follow through can be overwhelming, especially when you add in the bustle and noise of a hundred other children. Yet, he does extremely well at it all. I think that the same would be true in the classroom.
- He wants to go to Kindergarten.
Now, as to the part I mentioned above about regretting a child not starting early. I regret not having Cephas tested to enter Kindergarten at four. I just didn't know it was an option. When he started Academy (the K4 class at his private preschool), he was on the same academic level as most beginning Kindergartners. He was beginning to read, knew his numbers, shapes, colors. He had already had a year of preschool at age three, so he was used to work time, lining up, following rules, cooperating with others, separation from family during the day, etc.
But we didn't. We enrolled him in Academy because he was four and a child had to be five by October 15th to enroll in Kindergarten. Cephas wouldn't turn five until January. All was fine and dandy that whole year.
Then he enrolled in Kindergarten. And by the beginning of the Kindergarten year, he was reading on a first grade level, he had figured out not only addition and subtraction, but had mastered multiplication by 2's, 3's, 4's and 5's by simply playing with the numbers in his mind.
We were riding in the car one day and he told me, "Mom! If you have two and then you have two more, then it's four and then two more is six. Then eight and then ten." And I told him that yes, he was right. He thought about it a little bit and then said, "So, if I have two of something and you have two of something and Koren has two of something and Grandma has two and Grandpa has two, then that makes ten!" Again, I confirmed he was correct and told him, "That's right. If there are five people who each have a set of two items, that makes ten items total." He thought about that a little bit longer and then applied the same concept to three items, then to four items, then to five items, so on and so forth until he was satisfied with his new knowledge.
Then he began skip-counting by two until he reached one hundred. Then he did it by threes, then by fours and then by fives. So before my son had ever even started Kindergarten, he knew 1x1 up to 1x100, 2x1 up to 2x50, 3x1 up to 3x34 (because 3x33 didn't get to 100 and he wanted to get to 100), 4x1 up to 4x25, and 5x1 up to 5x20. He KNEW it, had it memorized.
So he was advanced. By a lot. I tried to inform his teacher but got the "Oh, every parent thinks their child is the smartest child in the world" attitude about it. So I decided to let her discover it for herself. She quickly did. But she didn't do anything to try to help him keep advancing. Kindergarten is a leveling grade. The kids who need to catch up to grade level are the ones that get the most effort put into them. The ones that already know the information get to help the teachers and be a good peer model.
By the end of Kindergarten, Cephas was wholly unchallenged and had grown bored with the whole process. He didn't have to try at school and while we continued a process called "After Schooling" (advancing through activities and interests after school) he just didn't really care much for school. In the middle of first grade, the academics caught up to where he was, but he had already stopped trying in school. By the end of first grade, he was no longer even at grade level for reading. It was such a struggle to get him to try in school. From that point on, until this year (in fifth grade), he has not been reading at grade level. He is now thankfully.
But I really feel that all of this could have been avoided by simply having him tested to enter Kindergarten early. I really and truly believe that. And if there is a chance that I am right about it, why wouldn't I want to do the same for Jeriah? Therefore, the dilemma.
Cephas is the child that we think may end up with an Aspberger's Syndrome diagnosis. He has had an issue with social skills since Kindergarten but we have always been able to somewhat manage them. Now, that just really isn't the case anymore.
To have him diagnosed with Aspberger's would honestly be a huge relief. Then we would know that, yes, this is why he does this or that or whatever. And more importantly, he would know that was why as well. If not Aspberger's, then maybe we could just gain additional coping strategies for him and for us as well. It is devastating to him right now. He tries so hard but he has such a lack of impulse control (always has, actually) and just cannot seem to do/remember/follow through on a myriad of other things that his classmates seem to have no problem with.
On Friday, when I talked to Cephas' teacher and gave her the questionnaire from the behavioral psychologist's office, she took it with a smile and said, "I know exactly what this is and yes, I would be most happy to fill this out for you. When do you need it back?" That tells me something as well.
Well, that ended up being a bit more lengthy than my reply to Gail's comment but not by much. What do you think? What would you do if the decision about Jeriah's classroom next year was your decision to make? Don't worry, our decision is not based on your comment but maybe you have a viewpoint that we haven't considered.
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