ADHD, ODD and Aspergers, oh my!

I have talked some before about Jeriah's Aspergers and how he is doing such a fantastic job with school and social situattions, and learning and all that. And I have mentioned briefly about Cephas and his ADHD. Well, here's a little bit of an update about these two kiddos.

Jeriah is still doing an amazing job at school. He has adapted quite nicely to his school routine and to his work and expectations there. His grades at school are all at either meeting or exceeding district standards, which is amazing. At home, though, it's a different story. He has been really defiant and refuses to help out or cooperate or whatever. It's trying on a mama, let me tell you. There are some days and situations where my energy and abilities are long spent just a few hours after he wakes up. I need to schedule another appointment for him with our therapist. This mama needs some resources to deal with this very strong-willed child. He is amazingly smart and I adore him to pieces, but I'm at a point where I need some kind of resources and ideas for what to do now.

I had this same issue with Cephas at this age. It was so INCREDIBLY difficult because with Cephas, I had two younger children at this age, one of which was a baby. With Jeriah, I think it's almost worse though, because I also have Cephas at his current stage, which is taxing at this point, to say the least.

Cephas was diagnosed with ADHD last Spring ('12) and we didn't want to medicate initially. Plus, he had Midget Football, which took up a LOT of time and energy and everything else. It was something that was physically grueling for him and kept him busy enough that he was too exhausted on a regular basis to act out. And then football season ended. And then we started back in with some of the issues.

Two weeks ago, after about a month of really considering the options, we went ahead and met with someone in the psychology office who is in charge of prescribing medications. She put him on a low dose of one ADHD med for him to take that week. It's a short-acting medication and is only in his system for a very limited period of time. Then, the second week (this week), the dose was doubled and would last for twice as long. And it has done an AMAZING job for him at school. He has been able to focus and not even his best friend goofing around here and there has been much of a distraction issue while he is in school. But then, he gets home, the medication wears off and we have our hands FULL. I try to get him to do his chores and homework immediately after school while his meds are still possibly in effect, but if something comes up and we're delayed by an hour or so, the rest of the night is a complete struggle.

Anyhow, before I go into all of that, I should share about the visit that we had with his psychologist before we went to meet with the person in the office who makes the medication decisions. Anyhow, I was talking to the psychologist and told her that it often feels like in addition to his ADHD (which we have talked about and worked with at length) that it feels like he also has ODD (Oppositional Defiance Disorder) and sometimes a touch of depression and with all of these things combined, it's like he has bi-polar or something.

She validated my feelings about all of that and showed my Cephas' graded assessments, in which his scores were 99.99% ADHD, 99.99% ODD, 99.99% Aggression (something or other) and I was like, Oh wow. Suddenly, it all seems to make sense. It's not just me losing my mind with this child (whom I love dearly, don't get me wrong!)

So, we met with the other person and started him on this medication. We have a meeting with both women coming up this next week and I cannot wait! There's potential that we will end up giving Cephas the low-dose med after school to get him through the evening and we may end up needing to give him another one to help him sleep as well. I don't know if I have ever mentioned this, but I really and truly dislike medications, but we are at the point where there's little other choice. We cannot have him un-medicated right now. But part of the problem that we are having right now is a side effect from the med of restlessness and insomnia. He's always had sleep issues and now on top of that, he has a medication that makes him more prone to it. So, in addition to the medication wearing off around the same time that he gets home from school, he's also not sleeping well at night and he is excessively tired, yet restless at the same time. It seems to be a vicious cycle.

These past few days in particular have been extremely challenging. I think that there has been three days in a row now that have me at my wit's end. The first two days that he was on the stronger dose, we didn't really have any major issues. However, I do think that by the third day, the sleep issue was really starting to catch up with him. All I know for sure is that I cannot wait until next week to meet with both ladies. I don't know if they are going to change his med, add on to it for the evening hours, or give him a sleeping aid of some sort. I almost want to try for the sleep aid first and see if that helps with the evening hours and the restlessness and insomnia issue first. But I don't know what route would be best to go.

It seems that he functions best when he is over-scheduled. You know, there was a big thing about kids being too over-scheduled and how they don't have downtime in our society, etc for quite a while a few years back. But Cephas seems to thrive and function the best when he is constantly on the go. However, I can't do it. Even if I don't have to do all of it, I'm still the one that has to take him here, there and everywhere else and it wears me out.

Right now, we have him involved in Swim Club. (Koren is also in Swim Club, while Oralee and Jeriah are in swim lessons.) Swim Club is quite physically demanding. Koren was complaining that they pushed him too hard, but Cephas kept pace with it really well. He has to do Swim Club before he can do Swim Team. I cannot wait for him to do Swim Team. He needs that intensity. Right now, Swim Club is twice a week. After this session is over, I plan on keeping Koren in Club and putting Cephas on the Team. Hopefully that will help matters as well. Then, this Spring, Cephas will also be playing soccer, Koren will be playing flag football, Oralee will be playing volleyball and Jeriah will be in soccer as well. It's such a demanding sports schedule, but given the similarities between Cephas and Jeriah at Jeriah's current age, I think it may be very beneficial to keep him busy as well. I've also toyed with the idea of having the boys do gymnastics, as Koren wants to and so does Jeriah. Oralee wants to do dance classes.

Anyone else exhausted just thinking about this? Because I am just from typing it and trying to keep it all straight. If I am sparse in posting over the next few weeks, this is why. I'm just trying to keep up with my ASD kiddos.

I also got into a huge disagreement with one of my best friends tonight. This is someone who hasn't been around for just over six months because he was deployed for a month, then he was home for about a month and has been gone for another three months. He doesn't spend all that much time with Cephas either. But as I was talking to him about just the ADHD, ODD, the meds and the current struggle, he made the mistake of telling me that Cephas doesn't have a disorder, that he's just twelve and developing his personality and such. This friend does not have children, does not work with children, rarely is even around children, much less any Spectrum children. Needless to say, we did not exactly see eye to eye about it and our discussion got heated and in the end, I unfriended him on Facebook. I told Bree about the conversation, as her son also has ADHD and ODD, although he's three years younger than Cephas is. But she understands what I'm going through with Cephas. And while she doesn't always understand completely what I'm going through with Jeriah, she's there and she's supportive and validates what it is that I'm feeling and going through with him. This other friend did the exact opposite. I also happened to be talking to Bree on Facebook and she was also getting riled up about this other friend's attitude.

This other friend gets home from his deployment tomorrow and I unfriended him tonight. Not exactly the best timing, but I was angry. Livid, really. I also wanted to talk to his wife tonight, before he gets home tomorrow, to let her know where I stood with her husband at this point in time. Let's just say, he really isn't scoring points with anyone at this point in time. His wife said that he was lucky this conversation took place while he is deployed and that it wasn't in front of her because she'd end up telling him a thing or two herself. I used to get along with him better than I did with her, but over the last few years, I have really lost a lot of respect for him. I hate to say that and to feel that way, but that's just the way that it is. I'm really grateful though, to have rediscovered such a good friend in his wife.

Okay, so this post was in large part an update and also a vent. Sometimes, it is so hard to balance all of this stress though. Thanks for reading through this. I'm exhausted and probably a little worked up yet. And to add to the stress, I also just found out today that Hubby is going to be back to work six to seven days each week. That is going to take yet another toll on me, because I'm going to lose him as a regular resource on Sundays. Wish me luck?

Cold outside, chores inside.

I know some areas are worse, but man, oh man, is it ever cold outside this week. This past weekend was GORGEOUS! Fifty-five degrees and sunny and today it was bitterly cold, overcast and windy. Okay, in all reality, our high for the day was 16 degrees and our highest windchill temp I do believe got up to around -5 degrees. But brrr!

All the super cold means that we have been spending a lot of time indoors. Doing a lot of planning and chore work. Which means that right now is a great time to show-and-tell our current chore system here.

I have four children. Each child has an age in years. Each child is expected to do the same number of chores in living areas of the home as they are old. If all of these chores are done each and every day without fail, said child receives a dollar amount equal to their age once a month. What this ends up working out to being is 3.5 cents per chore. I wanted something that would give the kids money but not be something that would break our budget either.

So here is how it works for Cephas (the child with the greatest age/number of chores/earning potential):

His room has to be clean in order for him to earn any stickers (the way we keep track of our chores) for chores. A clean room means that his bed is neat and tidy, under his bed is free of debris, his dresser, desk and bookshelf are all neat and tidy, the closet is neat and tidy with all items on hangers or in the canvas bins that we use for underclothes. This may sound like a normal thing to the rest of you, but to my twelve year old and his apparent lack of ability to see mess, it is something that has o be clearly defined.

Now for his chores. Currently, at his request, he has the living room. Once again, it may seem silly that we have such a specific list for him, but quite honestly, he needs to have completely clear expectations. His chores are: (1) clear the bookshelf of anything that doesn't belong on there, (2) clear the TV stand of anything that doesn't belong on there and make it look neat, (3) clear off the cedar chest, (4) clear off the couch, (5) clear under couch cushions, (6) make sure the area under the couch is clear,  (7) hang up all the coats and backpacks neatly, (8) make sure all shoes are put on racks or in the shoe baskets, (9) clear off entry table of all non-essential items, (10) pick up floor area in TV area, making sure to check the perimeter area of the floor, (11) pick up floor area in the entry/shoe area, (12) clear off mom's side table.

All are super quick things to do, especially if he does it daily. If he doesn't do it daily, then it builds up and he has to work harder and longer to get it all done. He only earns one sticker per item each day and only if he keeps the chore items up throughout the day. He does have he ability to ask a sibling or a parent to pick up their item if he sees them leaving an item in an area that he is responsible for keeping tidy. He has to do it with respect though. He will get twelve stickers for doing these very basic routine pick up jobs in this one room. The other kids have similarly specific chore items to do in other rooms. This is a system that works for us.

On the wall in our hallway, I have a row of their current school pictures. Under this row of pictures, I have a string that is threaded through 8 mini clothespins that I got from Walmart. Two clothespins for each child hold a sheet of 8x11 printer paper on which we put their stickers. At night, after they go to bed, we place sticker strips with their accumulated stickers from the day in one of their clothespins. Then, once a month, we pay out for their stickers. They can keep the sheet or toss it. The boys generally toss theirs, while Oralee keeps her sheets and hangs them on her wall in her bedroom. Once paid, they get new sheets for the month.

I do allow the kids to do extra work and award extra stickers. For instance, if Cephas or Koren decide to do a load of laundry, it usually nets them 3 stickers (unloading the dryer and bringing the load to my bed or to the couch, transferring the laundry from washer to dryer, reloading the washer). They know all the little parts that need to be done each time. Sorting the load to make sure they are washing like items, using the right amount and temperature of water, cleaning the lint trap of the dryer, etc. etc. Last weekend, they worked together and did six loads of laundry. They worked together on it and I had no issues (because of how well they were working together, cooperating and showing initiative - I didn't say anything to them at all about doing laundry) of giving them each the same number of stickers that I would have given them if they did the work solo. My reasoning? Their joint work ethic. I wanted to reward that as well. And to show them that if they work together nicely, they can get the job done quickly and easily and reap even more benefits than working solo. Their additional benefit was half the workload, same amount of stickers and more time to spend doing what they wanted to do.

Cephas and Koren have been incredibly helpful around the house this week. They have helped me clean Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom, did probably 9 loads of laundry, Cephas cleaned his and Koren's bedroom, and helped me with some laundry work in my room. To be honest, my bedroom most often resembles a clothing store explosion. They earned A LOT of extra stickers for going so far above and beyond this week. The only thing that I actually asked them to do was offering them the opportunity to earn stickers for Oralee and Jeriah's bedroom. Bedroom chores are NOT generally worth any stickers. But if your bedroom chores are not done, you can earn stickers, but you may not collect them, if that makes sense at all.

Okay, so this is what our hallway looks like right now. I will be paying out for their stickers later today as it is the first day of the month.

This is Koren's chart. He has currently earned nearly $5.00 for two weeks worth of work. We had the same concept before, but the stickers were on a different chart (10-strips).





 


This here is Cephas' chart. He also has been working for about two weeks, and he has currently earned nearly $6.00.

This is Oralee's chart. She prefers her stickers to be placed on there at random. She has earned a little over a dollar and a half.

Jeriah's chart has the least amount of stickers, as he is the youngest and currently the most resistant to doing chores. He has earned just cents shy of a dollar.






I love this system! I love the fact that the kids' chores are so specific that there isn't any doubt that they know exactly what is expected of them. They know what each area is supposed to look like when it is done. It is great! They know what to do and how to do it. Also, I had mentioned that they can earn extra stickers for doing extra chores, if they choose, but their prerequisite for that is that their chore rooms have to be done and their bedrooms have to be clean. It has been a beautiful little arrangement.

Oh, and we are also about to institute a dinner chore wheel, where everyone has a roll to play in the dinner prep or clean up. Those mini-chores are not for stickers, but as part of being a family and learning to be a responsible member of the family. The dinner chores include: unload the dishwasher, clear off the table for dinner, help prepare the actual meal, set the table with dishes, help bring the food to the table, help clear the table of the extra food (everyone is responsible for getting their own place setting scraped off and to the sink), rinsing dishes, load the dishwasher, wipe down the table and chairs, wipe down the counters and stove, sweep kitchen and dining room floors, take out the trash. If everyone chips in and does even two items, the work will fly right by and we will have more time to spend doing whatever we want in the evening.

I think it is a great and wonderful plan and cannot wait to implement it later today as well. I love our chore system and how well it works for us. Maybe something in it will help you, maybe it won't. But I thought I'd share it because it is a system that we have been using for quite awhile now and it just works so well for us.

Not Resolutions, per se...end of January update

Back on December 31st, 2012, I posted about some changes that I have been wanting to make. I didn't call them resolutions because I just didn't think that was quite the right term for them. But I did want to update you on those changes I wanted to make and how they have been going. So here goes:

Personal Scripture Study: F
Same as I said last time...Between doing the reading for Sunday School (which I don't attend because I'm a Nursery leader) and Relief Society (which I also don't attend for the same reason) as well as the reading that relates to my Visiting Teaching message and to my Nursery leader role, I really haven't been doing any personal reading. I do still plan to do it though.

Scripture Study with Bree: B
I had planned to order our Seminary books so that we could start as soon as the kids were back in school on the 7th of January, but time got away from me and I ended up not ordering them until the 9th and as of yet, we haven't received them, they are due here though, on the 22nd, although I anticipate them actually showing up before then.

They actually showed up on the 18th, although we didn't start them until the 20th/21st. I gave her the copy of her book at church that day and we started the next day. I have been pretty faithful (missed one day but had an extra long session the previous day that I felt kind of balanced it out, even though I know that it doesn't really) about doing my Seminary reading.

Tackling a particular area of the house each week: B
I had planned to start with the den. And as far as this goes, I forgot to do a post the next day with pictures of the items and then the finished product. However, I will say that nearly all of the homeless items were either re-homed to someone else's house, discarded or given a proper home here. The one exception to that would be the things that are under my husband's desk. Practical excuse: When I have the time, his legs are usually under his desk. In reality: I have more time than when he is actually using his desk, but when he's not, I push the chair in (out of habit) and the chair essentially hides those few remaining homeless items. Therefore, out of sight, out of mind. I WILL get that done (with pictures to prove it) before this week is over.

For next week's tackle, I plan on attacking laundry in a major major way. It just needs to be done.

I did get that area done but no pics. Sigh. One of these days my posts WILL have pics again. One of these days. I have been working on the laundry in a major way. There is still more to do, but it's a process and I'm plugging away at it. And making great progress, I might add! I think this laundry tackle may be one that I will actually continue doing throughout the month of February.

Meal Planning: A
Week 1 (aka 1-1-13 to 1-6-13) was planned and followed
Week 2 (aka 1-7-13 to 1-13-13) was planned and followed
Week 3 (aka 1-14-13 to 1-20-13) was planned and is being followed but I didn't blog it because I was busy and forgot to do it.

Week 4 (aka 1-21-13 to 1-27-13) was planned and followed
Week 5 (aka 1-28-13 to 2-3-13) was planned and is being followed but I didn't blog it because of illnesses and the fact that it's been kind of a loose plan due to the illnesses.

Savings Goal of $1200: A+
I have saved up an additional $300 already this month, on top of the $300 that I already had. In reality, Hubby's check is going to be short this next pay period so most likely the extra $200 that I have saved will be re-routed to make up the shortage on his check. However, it will not affect the amount that I have saved this far and it also won't drive me off track with my goal either. Hubby did see something this one idea on Facebook though and while it does seem interesting, I'm not sure that it is entirely practical for our family.

Someone had commented that they were doing it backwards so that it would get progressively easier as opposed to progressively harder. Plus, if you put away the most amount of money early on, and you have it in a bank or someplace where you are earning interest on it, you're making more interest earlier on. Not to mention, you are more likely to save more money at the beginning of the year when your resolve to save is at it's freshest. I hope that makes sense.

Hubby's work missed a paycheck that is still unaccounted for and he had a less than usual paycheck as well, so we are back to just the $100 (+ $300=$400) saved. We might need to dig into that, though, to make up for the missed paycheck. That's what it is there for though, right?

Chores: B
Our chore system is still going strong. I have tweaked it and will post about it (and some of the previous tweaks that I have done to it). Who knows? Maybe this current system (or one of the previous tweaks) will work for you as well. Or maybe give you something to start off from.

The chore system is going better than ever! Loving it! My older boys are continuously going above and beyond their expected chores nearly every day. Cannot complain about that!

Use our gym membership at least once per week: D-
Week 1 - 0
Week 2 - 0
Week 3 - 0

However, I did just sign the kids up today for swim lessons (Oralee and Jeriah) and swim team (Cephas and Koren) as well as for Recreational Soccer (Cephas), Flag Football (Koren), Micro Volleyball (Oralee) and Micro Soccer (Jeriah). So, that kind of used our membership...kinda. Once we are already at the gym for those lessons, it's so much easier to just go ahead and work out. Funny how things work out like that.

Week 4 - 3 times
Week 5 - 0 times so far due to illnesses. Blech!

Losing 2% of my weight per month: C-
At this point, I'd have to go weigh myself, but I don't believe that I have currently lost any weight at all.

I weighed myself on 1/26/13 and at that point, I had lost 1%. Not all that I'd hoped for, but it's a start.

Eating more meals prepared at home: C
We have definitely done better in this department. There is still room for improvement though. Ideally, we would be eating out once per month, twice in a birthday or anniversary month.

Still doing better, still lots of room for improvement. Our biggest downfall is those unexpected trips that come up that ends up preventing us from being home in time to start the meal at a time that would make sense. I just need to do a better job of planning ahead and making sure that I am home in time to make the meal.

Cutting out soda: D
Complete fail at this point in time. My plan was to trade soda in for decaf tea, but I haven't gotten there just yet. If I were to just make some and have it ready to go in the fridge, I'd set myself up for success right there. However, I haven't as of yet. There's nothing like the present to get started on that one though!

Still a fail, but mostly because I haven't yet bought the tea. I thought I had decaf tea, but I didn't. So instead of giving up the soda, I have been drinking non-caffeinated soda or diet soda. I wish it was both, but it's generally one or the other. I don't really like the diet versions of the caffeine free sodas. But this last week of January, I have actually been doing really well with it. I did have one diet soda when we ate at Hubby's work this week, but that was only because the server knows us and that's what I always order and she never even asked me what I wanted to drink - she just brought it out.

Sickliness

This week has been a week for the sickies. I got sick early on in the week, to the extent that had my Nursery co-leader already planned on not being at church, I would have stayed home. But, as it was the first day for Cephas to pass Sacrament and that my co-leader was absent, I decided that it would be best for me to push through and teach last Sunday. It was a great experience! I even met someone that is new(ish) to our ward, because our Nursery Presidency took pity on me with the babies and went to the Relief Society Presidency and asked them to offer a Sister from there to help me the third hour.

Then I came home and was sick, sick, sick on the couch for the next day and a half or so.  I didn't really get to feeling bad until after church on Sunday, so I'm praying that I didn't pass anything on. It was like a really bad cold, to the point that I thought maybe I had bronchitis. As it turns out, I didn't have bronchitis, but man, it was horrible!

It hit hard for a good two days, but by Wednesday, I was at work (Monday was a holiday - no school or work on that day for us!) and by Thursday, I had three kids home sick. I sent them all to school on Friday, as I was subbing for someone else that day and Hubby was working as well. Plus, they seemed like they were well enough to be at school that day. We also skipped out on Scouts on Thursday night, even though it was the Pinewood Derby, because I just wasn't feeling well enough to do that.

On Friday, my mother-in-law took the kids overnight and I guess Jeriah had a rough time over there. He was just so miserable with his sinuses. My mother-in-law was worried that he had strep throat because Koren had that about a week and a half ago, but I assured her that he didn't have it. It was just a severe cold/sinus issue.

On Saturday, I worked on the house all morning long. I have had piles and piles and piles of clean laundry sitting in my room needing to be taken care of. I sorted through the clothes that I was working on and from that portion, I found 2 1/2 bags worth of clothes to donate. I reduced my clothing to sale/give away or consign to just one single tote and either folded or hung the rest. However, I didn't put it away. I was so excited because short of actually finishing the job on the portion of clothes that I had worked through, I felt like I had really accomplished a lot. Don't look in my closet at the six baskets waiting to be folded or hung in there. I sorted but didn't mate the socks and I sorted out the under clothes, but didn't do anything with them, other than put them all in their own basket.

My older boys (Cephas and Koren) worked really hard doing extra stuff here around the house, freeing me up some to take care of Jeriah and to do my own work that I need to get done won't let them do.

Saturday night, Jeriah had another rough night as this cold has really been hitting him hard. But we all got a decent night of sleep. I had forgotten that Hubby had to go to work in the morning for a meeting, so we ended up staying home from church today, which was just as well, being that Jeriah STILL hasn't been feeling 100% yet. And let me tell you, an autistic child during church services can already be a handful, an autistic child who sometimes still naps during church services can be even more of a handful. But an autistic child who sometimes still naps AND is sick? During church services? Forget about it. Often times, with Jeriah, I am exhausted by the time I hit the Nursery after Sacrament Meeting and I still have two hours to go! Add to it that I'm still not 100% myself and yeah, it's just out of my capability right now.

However, due to the fact that we stayed home, the older boys helped me out immensely today. They did their regular chores, then they did a little bit extra around the house, helped me out by cleaning up Oralee and Jeriah's room so that I could go in there, sort through and organize their toys and build them their toy storage and get it all set up and arranged and everything. Then, just because they wanted to be extra helpful, they did like six loads of laundry. Which means that I now have six.more.loads.of.laundry.to.fold. On top of the six baskets still in my closet. Don't get me wrong, I'm completely grateful for the help. But I'm feeling a little bit overwhelmed by the laundry situation. And yes, I know that we have too many clothes. I'm working on it. Truly, I am! The last round of laundry that I did, I got rid of nearly a third of the clothes that I went through. I figure if I can get rid of a third of the clothes each time I'm doing laundry this next month, we'll be down to a reasonable, doable amount of clothes. Koren doesn't really need 20 pairs of pants (jeans/windpants/slacks/etc), Oralee really doesn't need 50+ pairs of bottoms either (leggings, skirts, skorts, capris, jeans, etc.) And for the most part, all of her pieces are interchangable, so it really isn't necessary for her to have all of that. It's just not.

And just now as I am typing this, Koren came rushing out of his room to the bathroom due to an upset stomach and he didn't make it. Glad that Hubby is home tomorrow to take care of sick kids, since I have to work. Poor kiddos. Poor Hubby!

Menu Planning 1-21-13 to 1-27-13

This week's menu plan is going to be interesting because I plan to try to do it mostly from things that I already have on hand.

Jan 21
B - muffins
L - leftovers
D - spaghetti with meat sauce, green beans and applesauce

Jan 22
B - quick shake
L - macaroni and cheese
D - tacos

Jan 23
B - quick shake
L - leftovers
D - crockpot beef stew

Jan 24
B - quick shake
L - out to lunch
D - quick sandwiches and chips (which will be a real treat because I rarely buy chips!)

Jan 25
B - quick shake
L - leftovers
D - burritos

Jan 26
B - pancakes, eggs, bacon and hashbrowns
L - (same as above, will probably be more of a brunch)
D - 4 cheese veggie lasagna

Jan 27
B - cold cereal or muffins
L - french dip sandwiches, french fries, peaches
D -  moco loco

Finding and Acheiving Balance

I am struggling to find a balance for all of my responsibilities. Any one else have this issue? This week is going to be busy, but not so much that I don't have time to get it all done.

Tomorrow, we don't have school, but I will only be home part of the day as I am going over to Bree's house to help her declutter her clothes' closet (and maybe even get to take home some of the items if I really like them). Tuesday, we have an appointment with our therapist and one of her partners about finally starting a medication regime for Cephas (it's something that we have tried to avoid, but entering the teen years, we feel it is now time) that will take up most of the morning. The rest of the day is fairly empty though. Wednesday, I have to work and then in the evening I also have an appointment at church. Thursday, I will be visit teaching with my teaching companion and then I will be going to a movie with the mother-in-law. We also have the Pinewood Derby in Scouts on this night, so one of our free evenings this week will be spent on creating a car for the Derby. Then Friday, I have blissfully nothing planned for the day yet.

Okay, here is my problem. The week itself, broken up like this, isn't so bad. But I seem to be having issues trying to acheive a balance. Thursday, there is just absolutely no wiggle room in my schedule. None at all. I'll be gone all day from 8:30 am when I take the kids to school until 8:30 pm when we get home from Scouts and Mutual.

These are the "scheduled" items on my list for the week. The "unscheduled" items are things like my personal Scripture study, Scripture study with Bree, tackling one area of the house at a time to declutter and really really clean it, doing all of my regular maintenance-type housework, getting to the gym and working out, and then other regular stuff like school drop off, school pick up, meal planning and execution, grocery shopping and other routine errands as such. I just need to sit down and figure out when and where everything is going to go.

Since I have tomorrow morning free (kid-free with Hubby at home, to be exact), we are planning on working on laundry and our bedroom, which is buried in laundry and clutter that gets shoved in there whenever we have company. Then I'll be going to Bree's house to help her, then I'll be heading back home to get dinner ready so that we can eat before beginning our evening plans. We'll probably work on the Derby car and I also really want to take the kids to the gym that night to go swimming. They really enjoy going and they have such a great time.

Tuesday, I know that my morning is already pretty much gone. We'll probably feed Cephas before sending him back to school (or just let him stay out for the rest of the day - depending on how much time is left in his school day before they are let out) and then that afternoon, we will be working on the Pinewood Derby car, as well as things around the house, maybe even get around to tackling one complete area too. That evening, I want to take the kids to gym again after supper, but I want to do a water aerobics class that I enjoy that evening. It's a TOUGH workout and I feel it so much afterwards, but it is incredible! The older boys can either swim in the other pool or they can shoot baskets in the gym. The little kids will go to the Child Watch center while I am in my class, then maybe we will swim again as a family afterwards.

Wednesday, I'll have work and then I'll do school pickups, home dropoffs (we carpool that day), then get home and make dinner before I have to leave for my meeting at church. When I get home that evening, we'll do finishing touches on the Derby car, and then I'll work on some regular everyday housework and call it a night.

Thursday is my busy day. I'll take the kids to school, go visit teach, then do lunch and a movie with my mother-in-law (it's not something that we've ever done before, so I'm kind of excited for it!) and then it will be time to get the kids from school and a friend's house and hurry home to eat a quick dinner before leaving for the Pinewood Derby. After the Derby is over, we'll call it a night.

Friday, oh how I am looking forward to Friday! I plan to spend my day on Friday (at home, without Hubby or kids or anyone else!), working on things around the house, to get it ready for the weekend. I also want to spend a good chunk of time in my Scriptures this day. I'll need to do this before Hubby gets home, as he has this desire to try to talk to me while I'm reading something (anything!), just as I have the same desire to try to talk to him during a football game or a video game or some other inopportune time for him. Friday night, we will plan on the gym again, but we'll have to see for sure.

Saturday, Hubby has to work and the kids and I will be working on our deep-cleaning chores here at home. My goal for Saturday's chores: have all three bedrooms completely clean! It's a big, giant goal but it's definitely worth trying for.

The one thing that I have, for the most part, missed in this plan is my Scripture time. And maybe that's my problem, that I am not starting with that and that's why I feel like I'm not achieving any balance.  So, going back through the days...on Monday, I will do my study time in the morning before Hubby gets up, Tuesday, I'll do my study time in the morning before everyone gets up, Wednesday, I'll do it after dropping kids off at school but before going to work, Thursday, I'll do it after visit teaching, but before the movie, Friday, I'll do it in the morning while Hubby is at work (as I had already planned), then on Saturday, I'll do it in the evening.

Also, on Saturday evening, I'll need to make sure that I have my lesson plan for Nursery completed. I broke up the lesson we are on into two parts, with part one being today and part two being next week. I had also planned to meet with my Nursery co-leader at some point this week, which may end up being on Tuesday afternoon, after Cephas' appointment. I just remembered that we had talked about tentatively setting something up this week to discuss Nursery.

So, that's my week. It will be busy, but the important thing for me to realize is that there is more than enough time to get it all done and to find that balance that I so desire. I love my life and I love all the different aspects and yes, even all of the different responsibilities that go along with it. Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed and talk myself into a situation where I (incorrectly) think that I'm over-scheduled or whatever, even though this is absolutely not the case! So thanks for being here and reading and letting me get it all clear in my head. Most of the things that I was trying to make sure that I had time to dedicate to in my schedule were those things that I had on my goals for this year. It is very important to me to be able to complete those goals and to make that solid lifestyle change. Every little thing that I can do to help me accomplish those goals, I'm willing to do.

Happy Birthday Cephas!

Today is Cephas' twelfth birthday, which I wrote about here but I have something special planned to surprise him with today. While he is gone this morning, I plan to work in his and Koren's room and get it 100% clean and spotless. This accomplishes two things. One, he doesn't have to do it on his birthday. Two, it gets done the way that I have been wanting to have it get done for a long time now.

There was a second plan that I made for his birthday today. It was a last minute plan, but since I found out that Cephas and his group will be back in town tomorrow by noon, I decided that I would put together a quick party for him. Poor Cephas has only had a few birthday parties in all of his twelve years. And most of those were when he was too young to remember them. But since this is such an important day for him, I really wanted to do something extra special for it and for him. So, while he was at school yesterday, I called around to some of his friend's parents and asked them all if a party today would work for them and explained that I did realize that since it was last minute, that it might not work out. However, it (surprisingly!) worked out for every family that I talked to, which I was super excited about!

I went to one of our YMCAs here and reserved a party room and so the kids will be able to swim and use the gym both. I'm thinking we will spend the first little bit of time getting everyone ready and then we'll either do the pool or the gym for the first hour, followed by the opposite activity for the second hour and then the third hour, we'll use the party room for cake and ice cream and snacks and presents.

I invited family and friends and a number of youth from our church and from my son's school as well as a few from our neighborhood. I just spent a week's grocery budget on party food and that didn't even include the cake or ice cream! I'm hoping it will be enough and that the kids will enjoy their time and the food and everything else. I'm just beyond excited to have this time for him to spend with his friends and our family and to be able to do something that he enjoys so much as well.

I was trying to make it a surprise party, but the fact that he is going to be with a number of his friends tomorrow morning for about five hours will be the deciding factor of whether or not it is an actual surprise. I am assuming that the parents I spoke to today have told their children about the party and I just don't know if they all passed on the message that it is supposed to be a surprise or if the kids will be able to contain it either. I may just go ahead and tell him about the party before he leaves this morning before his friends have the chance to spill the beans about it.

Then, for the evening we might just have Bree and her kids over to watch a movie and eat more of the junk that's possibly left over. Or we might end up going back over to my inlaw's house to just hang out. The evening is very much up in the air and we are completely open to ideas. But I'm thinking that something low-key to follow the major excitements from today is in order. That and the fact that Cephas has to be up around 6 am on a Saturday, so he may be tired (and Mom most certainly will be!).

I'm also super excited about a gift that I got for him. I wanted to get him a suit jacket but the places that I had looked for one wanted $45 and up for just a jacket! Hubby told me that I might just have to do what his cousin did and just buy one at Goodwill for Cephas. I had planned to go look but have been so busy lately that I just never got around to it. Well, tonight I just happened to be looking around at a consignment group in my area on Facebook and came across someone selling a full suit for only $20. I know Cephas' measurements for pants but since he has never been fitted for a jacket, I wasn't sure of his size for that. So I did the next best thing. I asked the seller what size shirt the person (most likely her husband - but I didn't want to assume it was) wore with it. Turns out that the shirt the person wore with it is only one size up from what Cephas wears and the pants are one size larger as well, which works out really well for us because Cephas' current slacks are just a smidge tighter than I'd prefer for him to wear. I was ecstatic to find that available for the price!

Now, I just need to get him some more ties. I think I'd like for him to have something like 5-10 ties, but I'll be buying them as I can afford them and as I find them here and there. I just love seeing him (and all of my kids really!) dressed up. They just look so nice and they seem to feel better and more mature when they are all dressed up.

More fun will be had later today and I promise to post some about it later on this evening. Until then...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CEPHAS!!!

(in orange because it is often his favorite color)